A Reason to Affiliate
by Analya-Shepard
Summary: After what the Council has dubbed "The Geth War" on the Citadel, and the Collector attacks in the Terminus Systems, Commander Emma Shepard takes on a task that no one else believes in: tracking down an old Spectre to answer for his crimes. Mild language, AU, spoilers, and some Shepard/Garrus that changes to Shepard/Saren later on. Written for a friend.
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: This work was originally created for a close friend of mine, which has since blossomed into a story that I feel should be shared. As usual, all the game characters that are recognizable are owned by BioWare, and the others belong to myself, and my close friend. Please enjoy and let me know if there are any suggestions for the story, or errors within._

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That night's rest had never come easier. After all the thinking, that was. A soft bed, firm surroundings, and no one to interrupt her in her apartment. The Citadel may have been destroyed, but thankfully, that was far away from her. Shepard had spent hours there during the day, both in armor and just surveying the damage. Her arm had been placed in a splint for a few days, but now she was able to take it off. However, she was still human, and needed rest. Being given a week of shore leave was hardly going to do the trick for her.

It was simply too much time to think about what might have happened if she had been able to save Saren. She had made the mistake of looking into his eyes when the bullet fired from his pistol, coming out bright blue with sparks from the other side of his grey skull. She had left Wrex and Garrus to finish him off, for good. But they were surprised to see that, once down there, the body was gone, with no trace of a trail of blood, or any sort of marks. And now, there was a rabid search for his person. 1,000 credits to anyone with good information. Emma particularly wanted to know who, or possibly what, had moved the body, and more importantly why. There wasn't anything to gain from a dead body but a space-filler in the ground. Or, as Wrex had so delicately put it, more wiring for the Citadel. It was a poor joke, to her; she knew Saren was only being manipulated against his will by the Reapers, and that otherwise, he was probably still a decent person. Emma believed that everyone had a good-heart when it came down to it.

Regardless of what had happened to Saren's body these thoughts and questions surged in her head like hornets. Though she slowly pushed them out, one by one, and drifted off into weightlessness, losing a battle to think as her body allowed her to sleep. She felt her spine stretching out the built up pressure, to the point where it was almost painful enough to stir her. But it also felt good. There was something to be said for a love of pain in this manner, and as she relaxed her muscles, focusing on her breathing, every minute began to slow down, and time might as well have stopped when she could no longer feel her toes, knowing they were wiggling, or her hands that were bunching up the sheets beneath her. She slept very well.

The past few nights alone were strange for her as she had begun having some rather questionable dreams. The most frequent one which often gave her chills, although she woke up in a sweat more often than not, was herself running off with some Drell named Thane. She had never met him before, although if she ever did, she knew she would take a liking to him right away. Regardless, as they neared the end of a long, winding path, which she now recognized as the path she took on Eden Prime to find Ashley and Nihlus, everything turned blood red. Alarms of all kinds were sounded, and there was a horrible, screeching noise, almost like nails on a chalk board, only amplified. The person in front of her varied, but every time they would begin to melt, with a sadistic smile on their face, while murmuring 'There is no choice' or sometimes 'You can't be saved'. It was then she would wake up and ponder on what her mind was trying to tell her. Tonight, however, was the most haunting thing she had seen. She was sure that if Saren was dead, he was doing this just for her, to please his own self with her torture. A black mist that went on for miles and was eerily warm to the touch, eventually gave way to ice cold water which, when Emma went down into it, deeper, revealed those beautiful blue eyes, and a menacingly calm voice repeating 'come find me'. And then his body, which was mangled up from all the bullets she'd no doubt fired at him, vanished with the warm mist as she came out of the water again.

"'Come find me'?" The male repeated the next morning.

"Yes. And then I'm just alone with this whispering. It pulsates some; it goes away for a bit when you get used to it, and then just when you think it's gone, it comes back. I.. I feel like I'm not really alive, but I'm not dead when I see this, almost like there's something keeping me between both worlds." Emma said as she paced the floor, sure that there was a path being carved into the metal flooring.

"Please sit, you're making me nervous." Garrus said, now. He was only there because she trusted him with things like this, as well as the fact he didn't have any particular mood or grudge against her at any time. He was just Garrus, and she needed an honest ear, that wouldn't make her pay by the hour. And it helped that he knew what she had gone through. Silence now passed for several minutes after she sat down.

"I've been having odd dreams too, you know." He offered to her.

"Really? Like what?" She asked hungrily.

"Just.. Those eyes, really." He muttered. "They pop up when you least expect it." Things went silent again, and the neighbors could be heard fighting.

"Do you think if he had a chance, he would do it over? I mean if nothing changed." Emma was trying to get something off her chest to ease the growing headache she had.

"I don't think he would have a chance to begin with."

"No, I mean if he could go back in time, and start over, do you think he would?"

"Would you?"

"From who's perspective are we talking?"

"Yours."

She paused.

"That's an entirely different question."

"But it gives you my answer."

_No._

She found herself sighing, and leaning against Garrus some before he stood. He had always been a good friend to her, though Emma wouldn't deny that there was some growing tension between them. It made things interesting when they talked. But right now, all she needed was that friend.

"You need the time off, Emma. Try to take things easy for now, alright?" Garrus said, as he gave her a small hug. She returned it with a smile of her own.

"I'll try not to blow anything up." She sighed.

"And if you need anything else, please call me. Or someone, at least." He said, before leaving her alone to the room. Her smile faded a bit as he left, saddened now at the loss of company. But she did need to loosen up more, she thought. She might turn out like one of those mental patients if she didn't watch herself. She sighed and turned to a very messy bedroom. It was still half unpacked, on top of the usual mess that Emma tended to always make and leave behind. She really blamed her parents for the habit; they never gave her chores, they cleaned up after her, and they were gone nearly all the time. The baby sitter would spoil her and clean up after every little thing, sometimes even doing homework for her. But she was an adult, now, and she knew that cleaning was part of that job. As a bonus, it would keep her occupied for quite some time. She let out another sigh and began to work. Sure enough, a few hours later, everything was put in its place, and it was as clean as she had ever gotten a room after living there for some time. As she turned towards the closet, she hesitated. Something around the corner made her tense. She glanced over, and saw a furry tail sticking out from behind a chair. She relaxed and smiled, clicking her tongue a few times, to make sure.

A small, furry head peaked out, green eyes and brown short fur with tufts of white. Emma smiled and then quietly moved to the kitchen to grab a bowl of water, and some shredded up meat from last nights' dinner. She moved back to the bedroom, and set down the bowl and plate by the chair the creature was behind. Purring, the kitten ran out and began eating. Satisfied, she then went to call the front desk of the apartment complex about the missing cat. After Emma was sure the message went through the third time, she hung up and waited.

During this time, Emma decided to redecorate the living room. She had rearranged the furniture around a few times, before a knock on the door caused her to pause her labors. She opened the door, a bit hesitant. However, she was glad to see a rather beautiful asari at the door.

"I was told to contact you about a missing cat?" the woman smiled. Emma smiled back, and welcomed her in.

"I hope you don't mind me feeding her." She said going to fetch the cat.

"Him," She said, "His name is Pio."

"Ah... Well Pio is in here, somewhere, last I checked. He's adorable too, I'm not sure how I missed him when he came in." Emma said as the asari began searching. She was glad she had cleaned up. Soon enough, the cat and owner were happily reunited. Theresia was the asari's name, and they talked for a bit. Emma was surprised to hear some of the things the woman had gone through. Theresia seemed quite content though, and the two agreed that when time allowed, they would have lunch. She seemed docile enough to trust in Emma's eyes.

After the small event, the time passed by slower than ever. Eventually, she was able to go back to her true home on the Normandy just a few days later. Everything went as planned for the most part, the team travelling through the terminus system and looking for some pockets of geth. Until about two months later, the alarms suddenly went off. All she could think about, odd as it was to her, was avoiding Saren in what would surely be the gates of Hell welcoming her very shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing that Emma could remember was waking up and quickly being sedated again after being in horrendous pain. She hated that she couldn't tell if she was alive or in Hell. Either way, it seemed that it would be some time before she found out. For now, she drifted in a happy weightlessness, Garrus in the back of her mind. She worried for him. What was he doing, now? She'd been in this state for hours, it seemed like, and there wasn't much else for her to think about other than what had happened before. The attack on the Normandy. She pushed that out of her mind and fell asleep, finally.

Awaking once more to screaming alarms, bright lights, flames, and panic, quickly brought her back to her senses. It was almost how she had last seen her world. The woman speaking to her, Miranda was a bit of a pain in her ear. They were going to have some words when Emma found her. As she fought her way through the station, she found herself questioning her own actions. She didn't know if it was right, and she planned to find out. When she found Jacob, she could breathe easier. And when the two of them finally met up with Miranda, the other man dying on the spot, practically, Emma had plenty of questions. What she found the most aggravating was that Miranda seemed to place herself higher than the other two, and that she couldn't have cared less about looking for survivors. As they traveled in the shuttle, she was forced to remember things that she didn't like to remember. She was almost brought to tears, upon remembering that she had left Ashley, who had practically become her sister, alone to die on Virmire. All she wanted to do, right now, was go find the one friend she knew she still had, and hug him however tight she could manage. IT wasn't long until she was allowed to exit the shuttle.

After the Illusive Man was done talking with her, she made her way towards the new ship she was to be given. The small shock of seeing Joker was one that gave her a reason to smile, for the first time. The bigger shock came later. The Normandy SR-2; she looked just as beautiful as Emma could remember the first one being. And on the inside, it was improved to better function, and fit her needs. Once she was settled, they set off for a small settlement that had recently gone dark. When she arrived with her "team" they began looking for survivors immediately. As each defense system activated, more and more pressure was being put on to find a trace of anyone living. Their only hope was to assume someone was controlling the defenses inside, somewhere. So the push was made to find that sealed off area. Jacob was causing Emma to go insane slowly, with each comment.

At her relief, they found someone. And not just anyone was found - Tali was there. She looked as good as ever, and the two talked for a moment. The Quarians seemed to know more about what was going on, so they all agreed to work together to find the missing Quarian, who seemed to be frantic in keeping himself safe. Emma promised no harm would come to him, no matter what happened. Miranda was clearly having issues with the arrangement, but she had kept herself quiet. She seemed like the type to keep quiet until it was safe to talk freely.

As the heavy mech came out, all but one Quarian was slaughtered. As she moved on, she was relieved to see that the missing one was safe, though frantic. As she patiently waited, and listened, she almost felt like her legs would collapse. _Collectors?_ What were these things? The video did nothing to explain to her, though to Miranda and Jacob, it explained everything. She began asking questions of them as Tali came up. Emma promised Tali that he could go back to the fleet, so long as all the information they could gather would be sent to her as soon as possible. Agreeing, and saying goodbye with a sad tone, Tali left, just as the three humans did. No one was spared here to Emma's disappointment.

Now, her new mission was to gain recruits to fight these monsters. She had a feeling that they were with the Reapers, and that was a priority in her mind. Two members were to be found on Omega; Mordin, a Salarian, and Archangel. Nothing showed up for Archangel, except that he was a good shooter, and held a high bounty over his head. Going to Aria under instruction proved to be of some help, despite her attitude. Emma thought she saw that asari from the Citadel. Then again, in this lighting, they all looked rather alike. As she left to the quarantine zone, she was determined to get Mordin out at whatever cost. Fighting mercs along the way was just busy work. The Vorcha and Krogan were all pains to rid of. But when Mordin was found to still be safe, and now willing to part with his work, Emma smiled, and welcomed him to her team. He had an interesting aura to him that she found comforting in a way. And as she went back a second time to find Aria to talk about Archangel, she wasn't pleased to hear that it would be a more difficult challenge.

Archangel was corned, and Aria was glad to hear that they almost had him. She wanted him gone as much as she wanted him working for her. And when Emma went to go 'sign up' as a freelancer, she had to remind herself that there was a time and a place for every bullet in every head. As they neared Archangel, crossing the bridge, Emma gave the signal to fire upon the others. A bullet from a sniper above nicked her shoulder, but she pressed on. She made her way up the staircase as the last merc went down. The door slid open to her relief, and found Archangel sitting there. The look on her face when she finally met the real person was priceless. And the look on his, told her everything she needed to know. She was back where she belonged; now holding him close to her. The slight changes to her plan were there, yes, but after he had collapsed, and the threat was soon gone along with adrenaline, she couldn't help but worry again that he would be alright; more or less his face. She didn't sleep until he was awake again. And when she glanced over as the door opened back on the Normandy, the two alone in the room at last, she fell into his arms again. Garrus was back, and alive as ever. As events unfolded, and more recruits joined her, she found her presence being joined more and more often by his. She couldn't trust many others, and she felt like there was something between them, now.

Her fun with him really began when Miranda and Kelly could be heard talking about showing him a "good time" to their low standards. She nearly lost it. And right then, seeing as they were nearby, she went to grab Garrus, pulling him away from his work, and forcing him to stay in the loft with her that night. The two snuggled all night and shared stories. She was surprised to learn how much more like Saren he had become, which frightened her, and intrigued her at the same time. He ignored some rules to make sure others could still remain. But, he still had a good heart, it was just a little bruised and needed tender loving.

Emma had happily claimed Garrus after that. All while fighting off Collectors and Reapers at the same time. Garrus joked that she was taking on enough work to last her two lifetimes. A friendly reminder from her told him that she was in fact, living a second life, now. She would be damned if the Turian Councilor ever took her side on this. She'd told that to Garrus and the two laughed for a while, mocking the Councilor. They'd just finished their adventure on the abandoned Reaper, and when she began to fall asleep in his arms on the couch after one of the longest fights she'd had for a long time, she felt him hoist her up like a ragdoll, and move her to the bed, right before she lost consciousness, happy for a change.

All night the whispering now persisted once more for the first time since the Normandy went down in flames.

_"Come find me."_


	3. Chapter 3

As each night began to simply blur to day again, the dreams began flashing back. They were becoming more frequent, vivid, and violent then they had been before. Though the story of the dream would change every time she would tell Garrus. It was frustrating for both of them, and no one knew how to stop them from occurring.

"Let it go. You didn't do anything wrong, Emma." He would continually say, as though it were the only thing he knew how to say.

"I can't!" She yelled back, "It's like I killed an innocent child and now it's haunting me!" That had shocked the both of them that it had reached this level. And for the first time in months, that night they refused to share the room. It was colder, and the room became huge without Garrus there, but she knew that this meant they hadn't stopped caring about each other.

Becoming heavily distracted with stopping the Collectors, she told everyone that they needed a small break, to make sure that they could focus entirely on the task at hand. Before they made that final push on the suicide mission, Emma had a few of her own things to attend to. She made calls to Kaidan even if he was still bitter about her change in allegiance, as well as Wrex, and even her family. She had no clue what to expect, and she didn't want to have a single regret hanging over her shoulder if she was to die for good this time. She was sobered dramatically when she convinced herself that she needed to break it off with Garrus before things got too intense, and complicated. If only for a while, it would still need to be a break. She softened the blow to him, as well as the blow to herself, by telling him that they could get back on track after everything was settled. He seemed to accept this, though it was clearly hard for him, seeing as he had become quite clingy. She found that after a while, her mood towards him turned sour, as they drifted and began to notice there wasn't much in common anymore. As they began to work together exclusively on a plan for attacking the collector base, having survived for the most part through the crash, they were able to keep their cool, and work together in separate teams. Emma felt a weight drop off her shoulders when she had ordered the destruction of the base, despite The Illusive Man trying to convince her otherwise. They had gotten out alive, and now Garrus was waiting.

"Give me a few more days to relax," She said, "I still have quite a lot of things I need to do." Emma then turned to go lay down, alone, so she could sleep off the aches in her body.

"Can you promise we'll talk then?" He asked. She sighed heavily.

"I can promise I'll try." She said, now shutting him out.

Emma had wanted time to relax alone for a long time. Right now she was getting it. The time had flown by quickly this time. She knew that she wanted to settle down, maybe, just maybe, have a family too. She liked the idea of having her own family, just being able to relax after each night, not worrying about a single thing. Things would definitely settle down now, and she could afford to dream.

In a few days, as promised, Emma talked with Garrus, and she decided that she missed him. So things resumed, and she was glad for company again. There was mention, however jokingly it might have been, about the two of them adopting a few children. Emma wasn't at all against the idea, but she still wanted that experience her own mother had gone through for herself. Of course, Garrus wouldn't ever understand why, despite her telling him over and over again.

"I just don't see why would want to ruin your body, and lose sleep over a child. Not to mention I hear it's quite painful." He said while they ate, with her leaning against him.

"That's all… Somewhat true I suppose. But the felling you get from knowing that you'll bring life into existence is an indescribable feeling." She then replied. They were currently on the couch in their new apartment, though it was more or less hers. There was nothing but boxes around the area, both of them still looking for furniture. She'd tried pulling out the couch from the Normandy, but it wasn't coming out without some industrial strength tools. Despite all she had done and been through, Garrus remained with her, though he was as incredibly clingy as before, and now very affectionate in public. She suspected it was a deeply embedded instinct for him to let everyone know that she was his. She didn't mind it at first, though after some time, as always, it became annoying. She decided it was enough now. She started putting distance between them, even showing interest in others. When she did decide to tell him, he seemed anything but surprised.

"I can't say I didn't see something like this coming. But are you sure?" He asked.

"Look Garrus, thing just aren't going to work out for us. I want a family of my own, not just adopted kids, even thinking how nice that would be with you. But I just can't take how clingy you are around me. I can't breathe and I know that you can't change that. Maybe someone else will appreciate it more than I do." She said, unable to look at him now. Garrus began to show deeper concern, wanting to fix this despite what she said. After several more minutes of him begging her to stop packing her things, he made the mistake of trying to hold her back. Emma took his hand off, twisting his wrist until she heard a snap. It was a familiar snap - when Saren had grabbed hold of her and broken her wrist. He let out a growl, and Emma felt the stinging tears come. She left as quickly as she could going somewhere she knew she would feel safe, as well as going somewhere that she had a friend who would hopefully know where she was standing. She was done with Garrus because he wasn't doing any good for her.

Emma and Jeff stayed up late, having conversations either alone, or amusing themselves with EDI's remarks on certain things. She had begun checking her messages again, looking for any good leads on the old offer for Saren's body. It wasn't more than a few months before she called everyone back for duty. This mission was too big for her to handle herself. She thought she had finally found a lead on Saren. And with the council's permission, she was able to make the attempt to bring him back to answer for his actions, finally. And the time had finally come for answers. Not just for the rest of the universe, but for her as well. Emma needed to know what she was doing with the rest of her life and the only way she could find out was to enter this old wound and search for the door out to seal it for good.


	4. Chapter 4

Getting that tip from her source had proved that all those credits spent on surveillance were now paying off. Three days, and they would be heading out to investigate. Emma was excited to finally get the answers she was looking for, and put an end to the nightmares that left her sweating and unable to sleep. It felt good to be going after him when he had no idea what was coming. But she wouldn't harm him, for she still believed he could be a good man. In that time that they were travelling, she began to look for other signs that Saren was still alive. If she could be brought back then there was no reason he couldn't be brought back from the dead, too. But under what terms would someone want to bring back a dead Spectre who betrayed the galaxy, so to speak?

When she would pace the halls, she would often run into Garrus doing the same. He still gave her pleading looks, like a puppy might, but she had recently noticed that he had moved on, and that Tali had been spending more time with him, neither arguing. Or at least if they were it didn't appear that way when she had snuck in on Garrus trying to be smooth and pick something off her suit just so he could touch her. In a way, it suited him better to be looking at Tali.

As they made their way towards Omega once more, they had stopped just a few hours short to confirm that they had the right place, and so that they could reach the asteroid easily, fueling up. The night was given to everyone to do as they pleased, though Emma would only wander so far to the markets. She wondered if they had anything good for her to eat. Turians heavily lined the area, speaking in their own dialects when they could. She spotted a familiar silvery-grey carapace from a short distance away. That stance was familiar too. Her heart began racing and that voice tortured her; _"Come find me"_ it practically screamed. The head turned and the bright blue eyes, unmistakable to anyone, were focused on her. She had clearly been spotted though she smoothly waved to make it look like there was someone else, and walked in that direction, careful to avoid him as he soon turned too. She counted to five before then following him. He lead her through the district, far away from anywhere she knew, and eventually into an empty alley, clearly knowing she'd followed him. He turned sharply to face her.

"What do you want, human?" He snarled, just the way she remembered. Did he not recognize her?

"Why aren't you dead?" She asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

"You would be surprised at how many truly care for me. I was taken away and saved, as you no doubt saw. You no doubt know what might have happened otherwise." He said, as his body turned, still slimmed, though surprisingly free of most tubes and wires. She assumed the few that were left were what was keeping him alive.

"I came looking for answers on behalf of the council. I can't promise anything- "

"You're wasting your time." He said, cutting her off.

"Why?"

"I don't deserve that kindness."

"You need to be responsible."

"Says who?!"

"I do!"

They went silent. Typical of them to disagree. She sighed and tried again, knowing her persistent attitude could help.

"Look. I'm under no obligation to take you. But perhaps all they want is answers. If you come with me, we can go to the Council when you're ready. We're docked at bay C-14." Emma said, turning to walk off. That was the best she could do. She felt his ice-cold stare following her until she was around the corner. Then she could only feel a small shudder works its way out. Nothing about this would leak to anyone or anywhere, not even to the journal she kept to herself to keep sane. Why she expected him to follow immediately was beyond her. He would think it through, she knew, but to which way he would lean was unpredictable. She would give him a few days until she would then attempt to capture him against his will. She wondered if he still had his biotics. As had become usual for Emma, she fell asleep at her desk when she found herself back on the Normandy. She was soon alerted by Jeff that she was needed. Expecting something bad, and unaware of how long she had been out, she groggily got up and headed towards the cockpit.

"You've got a visitor." He said right as those blue eyes flashed at her from the corner. She straightened up with another chill down her spine.

"That was fast." She said. He snorted.

"You consider 13 hours to be fast?"

"For the offer given to you, yes, that was fast." She said, narrowing her eyes, but turning to lead him away. "Let's see if we can find somewhere for you."

"So long as I'll be able to keep to myself, I don't care where it is." He said, picking up a small bag and following. Emma hadn't figured Saren to be one for sentimental items. Then again, how well did she really know him?

"You'll have plenty of space and time to yourself. Don't worry." She said as they stood at opposite ends of the elevator.

"Is there anyone I should know to avoid?" Saren asked, though whether or not it was a joke, she couldn't tell.

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough for yourself. I can't say that I know you well enough to know." I said, not sure what his type might have been.

Somehow being nice to Saren was a bit hard at the moment. She wanted to punch him in the face and beat him to a blue pulp for just disappearing for years, and not taking responsibility for anything that he had done. And at the same time she knew that he couldn't have possibly believed what he was saying at the end of it all. After all he shot himself. He took his own life, to save her from a possible death that could have been coming. He was probably still adjusting to answering to a different name hardly scratching by on what she was sure was a mercs paycheck. That lifestyle couldn't have been easy. But, she would never know. Her life had always been handed to her on a silver platter until recently. She could admit safely that she knew how hard it was to turn a lifestyle around. He was making an effort to change at least. More than most would do.

When the doors opened, Emma led Saren into a solitary room that was off in a corner, but still around where most everyone was.

"Think this will do for you?" She asked, making that effort to be polite, grinding her teeth when her mouth shut again.

"It will do." He said, clearly struggling as well. Emma stood there for a moment as he threw his bag down.

"Feel free to come and talk to me or anyone else if you ever need anything." She said softly, turning to leave him alone.

"Shepard." He called out, before she got too far. She turned around to see him sitting on the bed, the excuse of eyebrows he had furled.

"Yes?"

"Why are you doing this if you aren't going back to the Citadel?" His voice changed suddenly. It wasn't cold and steely. It was a little warmer and considerably softer; Emma could hear the natural turian in Saren for the first time since they'd met. It took her a minute to respond, to remember the question.

"I think everyone who's been victimized deserves a second chance. Perhaps you more than anyone I've met." She replied, looking him in the eye, knowing that deep down he had never intended to do what he had done, nor had he truly been in control of it all. He accepted this and muttered a thank you before she turned to leave him alone for now. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard to get to know him better. After all, the better she got to know him, the better she could defend his actions. But what would she tell the council? How would she explain these trips she was making for seemingly nothing? At the moment she was under heavy scrutiny for working with Cerberus, her status on the verge of being revoked. And what would she say to them when they found out she had been harboring a fugitive? All these thoughts raced through her mind, and she would need to plan accordingly. Emma needed more sleep. She had passed Garrus and he seemed to hiss at her quietly. It was her imagination, surely.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days for Emma were spent entirely trying to find places for her to stop to at least get off the ship and shoot someone, or something. Saren was often invited to join and he came occasionally, other times he preferred to stay alone. No one bothered him about it, though. It was just how he had wanted things to be. That and everyone but Shepard was still terrified of his reputation.

Emma had come back from her target practice she'd done alone, and was set on talking to Saren. They had gone nearly a week without doing so, and she figured it was about time they talk for a few minutes at the least. So as soon as the armor was stripped off her body and she was in her own clothes comfortably again she headed to the small space given to Saren. Of course she gave him warning that she was coming beforehand as a kindness.

"Hello, Emma." Saren had said by way of greeting just as she walked into the small area. They had been on fairly good terms lately, so it was nice to be greeted by her first name for a change. He had his back turned to her at the moment.

"Hello. Are you working on something?" She asked, sitting in a chair in the corner by the door as usual. He nodded. "Ah… Should I come back, then?"

"No. I'm just finishing." He said turning shortly, showing her a small model ship he had put together. She smiled. That was what his request had been for.

"I didn't know you liked model ships." She said as she stood up to get closer and look at it.

"It's a side hobby I've developed." He said, smiling a bit. Saren smiled a lot more around her, now. And he was actually a very interesting and easy person to get along with. Given he allowed the other person to get past his defenses. Emma had a feeling because of their history, and the way she'd greeted him this second time, he was willing to give her more access.

"Am I going to need to supply you with more to do?" She grinned once she was done looking over the small reaper model. It was an interesting choice given his background, but it was also rather beautiful.

"Possibly, yes." He said, smiling as well and looking up to her. She raised an eyebrow, curious as to the look in his eye.

"Well, I'm fairly sure that I need to test you a bit." She then said, walking off.

"Like what?" He seemed a bit on edge.

"Shooting, defending yourself… Standard things. I have no doubt in your mental capacities." She said, pausing and looking at the door. "I think once that's decided we'll see if you might want to go to the Citadel."

"If you think it would help me." He said hesitantly. She was looking around the room. He'd moved the bed from the front of the door to the far side, the desk was now in its place, and all of his belongings were kept neatly. She assumed that was from having to live out of a suitcase practically his whole life. It fit him nicely to be in this room.

"I think it would be best. If you can show that you can still perform basic actions, they'll probably be willing to listen to you." She smiled, before leaving him alone again. She went to go get some food, fairly hungry in her current state. She ate alone more often than not, now but it wasn't something she minded. She left just as Saren went to go eat, noticing that Garrus was on the other side of the room, and still tense. Shepard shot a glance to him to shut him up.

In her room she spent time thinking of how to go about testing Saren. The shooting would be easy; however some of the other things wouldn't be so easy to accomplish. She fell asleep at the terminal at her desk and was woken up by a hand gently prodding at her. She quickly sat up, and looked over, sighing at Chakwas.

"Time for you meds, I'm afraid." She said, setting the small box down beside Emma's arms. She sighed and rolled up her sleeves.

"Is it possible to give me the painkiller first?" She nearly whined. The doctor shook her head.

"In all my years treating soldiers I've never had one as whiny as you, Shepard." She smiled, taking the first needle of five, being gentle with the injection, holding a conversation to distract her. Emma hated taking all the meds just for her weak immune system. Surprisingly, Cerberus hadn't managed to fix that. But she was given boosters once every couple weeks and she dreaded it. She had never liked needles, unless they were plastic and used to knit.

"What are all these other shots for?" Emma eventually asked, once she was sure her arm would fall off.

"Just so you don't get sick from the flu, or something. Someone said they might have it, so I figured I might as well dose everyone just to be safe." Chakwas explained, smiling and then taking her things to leave, pausing for a moment. "Oh, and Garrus wanted to speak to you." She then added before leaving. Emma groaned. Why now? Could he just message her like everyone else did when they had a problem? No, he couldn't. He was Garrus fucking Vakarian and he had daddy problems that he just couldn't work out like a normal person.

She wandered down to the main battery where he liked to brood these days. She hated that it was so dimly lit; Garrus' eyes glinted in the light like a cat in a dark house. It was intimidating to say the least. She was glad, however, that he was over in the far corner, where it was well lit. He looked exhausted as she came closer. Careful not to touch anything, Emma leaned against the wall instead.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" She asked quietly after he turned silently.

"I'm concerned about something." He said, being vague as usual when stating a problem.

"Well then be out with it." She said, making it clear she had a lot to do.

"Why is it that Saren seems to be getting better treatment than he deserves? He killed thousands of people through the Geth and Sovereign."

"Don't even go so far as to say that Sovereign was under Saren's control, Garrus." Emma said quickly, her jaw tightening.

"You're defending him after you said you'd wish he died not too long ago!" Garrus said quickly, seeming to grow taller with each word, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"First of all, I've never said the. Second, you used to say that the rules were there to be followed. You changed and now you say fuck the rule book. People change. If you don't like that he's changed why don't you look at yourself first and see what made you want to change. Maybe you might find some common ground with him and see things from his eyes instead of seeing though the narrow scope that goes down the barrel of your pathetic excuse of a sniper rifle." Emma spat, turning quickly to walk out. His three-fingered hand caught her shoulder.

"You're suggesting that he might actually feel sorry for what he did to everyone?" He asked, his tone a dead giveaway of his confusion with the situation.

"Yes, I'm saying that he might not be as hollow as you think. You should try talking with people, it's a nice way to get to know them." She then ripped her arm away from his grip, not caring that the fabric tore a bit, leaving red marks on her skin as well. She wore her wounds proud, now.

If Garrus couldn't see that Saren had changed, maybe she'd better put them next to each other and then they could learn. Although, Saren seemed to have no problems with everyone else, unless they continually disturbed him for no apparent reason like Miranda tended to do. For someone who saw aliens as a threat, she seemed rather keen on getting to know him on more than a first name basis. Emma scoffed. Maybe she wanted to examine him under a scalpel. She would say the same of Mordin, but he seemed to be more inclined to simply talk to Saren about things instead of asking him to do things. There was a respect between Saren and most everyone on the Normandy, with a few exceptions. Such as Grunt, and Garrus. Though, Joker seemed to be coming around to being on the neutral side, understandably because his ship had nearly been destroyed on countless occasions.

Surely, Emma thought, putting Garrus and Saren together should help to resolve the issue, even if it means playing referee between them while they brawl. She shook her head and went to continue her rounds on the Normandy, surprised no one asked about her now bleeding shoulder. Everyone needed to get along while they were, in her eyes, forbidden to go to the Citadel. It wouldn't be much longer. And she couldn't hide much longer, either, because the Alliance was now asking for her audience.


	6. Chapter 6

Emma was taking her rounds early in the morning with her typical cup of tea, enjoying the taste a little more than usual. She had nearly gone so far as to not bother putting her boots on that day, and had then decided to for the sake of looking the part. Regardless, she wandered through the ship, without any complaints, waiting for her cue from the man piloting the ship.

The previous night, Emma had woken up with an idea to get off the ship and shoot something. She was delighted to say the least. There was a planet nearby that had sent out a radio signal, and luckily Emma decided to hang around in the system to think on whether or not to respond. The timing was perfect, now. There was a new signal that would be sent out a few hours later.

"Commander, I think you should take a look at this." Joker said over the intercom, the urgency in his voice unfailing, when she knew that he was likely sitting there ready to take his afternoon nap. She knew she owed him for doing this, but regardless, she took to the elevator, going to her own room for some time, before leaving to pull her armor on. In the process, she sent messages separately to Garrus and Saren for them to join her. She was waiting to hear the hissing and thudding from the elevator in the shuttle bay, but there was just silence until the two walked over. Garrus was always armored, for whatever reason that was, but Saren pulled on his heavier armor and quickly put it on. The turians stood at least a foot apart from one another, one more agitated than the other. They remained silent for some time.

"You haven't told us much of what we're getting into." Garrus chimed in as they secured their helmets, taking off in the shuttle. Emma didn't need to move her head to look at Saren. He was busy staring up at the screen showing the land they were soon covering.

"It's a distress beacon, isn't it?" Saren said, looking over to them.

"Yes." Emma said slowly, surprised. "How did you determine that?"

"There's nothing of importance here, and you aren't packing very heavy." He shrugged. "I know what you look like going into a hard fight."

"Very well." She replied, able to grin without anyone else seeing it.

"Lucky guess, Saren." Garrus muttered, leaning forward.

"Vakarian, how long were you in the military? Excluding training." Saren asked suddenly. It didn't raise any alarms for Shepard; to her, it was simply curiosity. In part she was interested as well.

"Six years." He responded, shoulders falling, and turning his body towards the other turian on the bench. Emma wished she could see their faces - she needed more practice reading them.

"Interesting. By then I'm sure you'd have gotten used to seeing surroundings like this."

"It's been a while. There was the time I chased after you, and then went to fight of mercs, oh, and let's not forget the collectors." Garrus nearly hissed.

"If it's been a while, then perhaps you should go back home for a while. It's not good to let your senses dull." The grey armored turian leaned back, staring ahead so far as Emma could tell, and as Garrus was about to move, the door opened.

"Let's go, guys." She said, pulling her pistol out, leading them away from the shuttle, waving it off. "We're going to have to go over the hill."

The terrain was anything but flat so far as any of them could see. But the nearest hill was hardly anything, and so they began walking over, looking around for anything that might start trouble. The grass was a welcome sight, as they began marching up the hill towards the crest. On the other side of that crest, was four platoons of geth surrounding a distress beacon. The three quickly dropped back on the other side.

"Shit." Shepard said, half at the platoons, and half at the fact she'd felt her back pop painfully at the drop.

"Let me get to the other hill, and we can have the advantage." Garrus whispered, even though he was talking through a comm channel the three had secured.

"Move fast." She said quickly, then looking to Saren who was putting in the proton rounds in his own pistol. She began to do the same, keeping an eye on Garrus as he was stumbling up the steeper hill. Saren clicked the transmitter on his sleek black helmet.

"I hope Garrus doesn't think I'm going to harm anyone." His voice came in through Emma's helmet. He'd somehow managed to get his own channel through to Emma's without her noticing, Garrus completely unaware that they could communicate without him hearing them.

"He's never understood you. Most haven't."

"And you understand me?"

"I understand what others dismiss." She said before getting cut off by Garrus, to which Saren switched the comm back to its original channel.

"I'm ready when you are." He said.

"Open fire." Shepard said, peeking over to see one of Garrus' bullets from his Widow meet its mark with a light that went dim at the moment of impact, launching to the side and hitting another geth soldier. "I understand, and also you and I have both died and come back to life, Saren." She finished, taking a few shots from her stomach, ducking when necessary.

The fight was going to take a while, and once two of the four platoons went down, she began playing with the idea of getting a few more of her people on the ground. She'd long since switched to her own assault rifle, staying put on the hill. Saren had run to another hill, and Garrus was hiding up above, calling out movements.

"There's a prime headed your way, Shepard!" He called as another shot was taken. His warning wasn't soon enough, and Emma found her stomach lurching as she was lifted from her spot by the neck, like a kitten. But instead of a cat, she came face to face with a familiar looking light. It reminded her of her first interaction with Legion. She hadn't been sure of whether or not it was friendly; however this red prime was different. It clicked a few times, and then spoke.

"Shepard-Commander. Human."

"Put me down." She tried, lucky her grip on her gun hadn't slipped. The geth seemed to process this, but continued to hold her.

"Shepard!" Garrus called. "Am I shooting?"

"Not yet!" She screamed, staring into a light, hoping her neck wouldn't be broken in a matter of seconds.

"Don't shoot, the rest have stopped." Saren spoke cooly. In her peripheral, she could see Saren marching over, holstering his gun. Something didn't feel right, and she saw a red dot pinned on his helmet.

"Garrus, put your fucking weapon down now. That's an order." She barked. The geth was still holding her and she felt the blood rushing to her hands and feet. It's head turned to Saren, the mandible-like plates moving.

"Arterius-Saren. Turian." It spoke.

"I swear, if this was a trap set by Saren-"

"Put your gun down!" She yelled again, using up the little reserve of energy she had, as her grip grew weak, and the heavy gun clunked to the dirt. The geth looked back to Shepard now, putting her down.

"Follow us, Shepard-Commander."

"What about Saren?" She quickly asked, gaining her footing again.

"Arterius-Saren will follow us." The prime turned and began walking. She was willing to accept this peaceful interaction, and did as she was told, not worrying about the loss of one weapon. She saw the red dot on Saren's chest finally disappear as they walked towards a bunker that had been hidden by their supposed vantage point. The two platoons returned inside, following the prime, and the two guests. There was no chatter as they walked.

"Shepard, you come out alive."

"I'll live, Garrus. Call Joker in an hour if we aren't out by then." Emma was smiling a little bit. He still cared about her even after he said he didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

Once inside the bunker, Saren and Emma were instructed that it was safe to remove their helmets if they wished. The geth prime appeared to be the leader of the two platoons left. Saren left his helmet on, while Emma chanced removing hers. As she thought, their communication with the Normandy was lost once they were inside. There were several hubs around the edges of the singular room, with a broadcasting system placed in the center, that doubled as the jamming tower. As the prime turned, Emma was surprised to hear Saren speak first.

"Why did you send out a distress beacon?"

"We wish to negotiate with Shepard-Commander."

"About what?" She chimed in quickly, very suspicious. She could calculate her chances against two geth platoons as well as they could, and so they hadn't bothered removing weapons. All the soliders were circled around the three in the conversation as a wall. A four geth deep wall.

"We wish to inquire about another geth aboard your ship."

"Legion?"

"Unit 43329 - 'Legion'. We accept both names." The prime repeated.

"What do you want to know?"

"What purpose does unit 43329 serve aboard the vessel 'Normandy' Shepard-Commander?"

"Legion helped me defeat the collectors. Since, Legion has had no formal... Use." She was uncomfortable talking about Legion as though it were a servant. But Legion was useful to everyone, especially when it came to the engineering. She was starting to wish she'd brought Legion along, instead of Garrus.

"What purpose will unit 43329 serve in the future?"

"Legion will decide what it will do before I return to the Citadel." She paused. "Why are you so curious to know?"

"Unit 43329 is still a part of our network. We wish to know what will become of us in the future taking into account this unit." This took her a minute to figure out what the prime was saying. Were they asking to leave without further violence? Clearly that would be beneficial to them, because there would be no loss of hardware, and she was clearly willing to be cooperative with the geth. She decided this must have been the negotiation, after learning information.

"So long as the rest of these units remain hidden, or return themselves to the area behind the Perseus Veil, I can assure that there will be no further conflict from myself for the forseeable future."

"We accept this offer." The prime stated. "We will leave this planet as soon as possible and return to the Perseus Veil."

"May we leave?"

"Yes."

Shepard put her helmet on and sighed once there was a path cleared to the door, smiling. The jamming tower was turned off, as long as the distress beacon.

"-epard! What is going on!"

"We're fine, Joker. Send the shuttle back at the pick-up. Everything is dark here." She stated, already heading back to pick up her gun. Garrus was standing just atop the hill, running over once he saw Emma and Saren emerge from the building.

"What the hell happened in there?"

"Negotiation." She said quickly.

"Of what?"

"Their departure unharmed."

"What?" Garrus was losing his mind. Sure, he understood if one geth could be convinced to be friendly. But two platoons worth of geth? Shepard shook her head, picking up the rifle and dusting it off before slinging it over her shoulder.

"You'll hear about it at the debriefing. And you can bet your non-existent ass I'm telling the Council about this." She said, all three waiting for the shuttle, which came minutes later. They removed their helmets inside, and she kept her eyes closed in the silence on the trip back.

"You allowed geth to walk away?" Tevos said in disbelief for once.

"They meant no one in my party any harm, and they promised they would return to their own kind." Shepard stated, holding herself firmly where she stood in her quarters.

"Are we to expect anything from the geth soon?" Valern asked, nervously wringing his hands.

"No. I think this group I ran into was doing a check-up on the rest of the galaxy. There isn't anything that would suggest any race moving towards a war with them, so we should expect them to be secluded."

"Thank you for the report, Commander Shepard." Tevos suddenly cut the transmission after that, leaving Shepard to make a face at the previous spots of the four councilors. She was surprised that Anderson and Sparatus hadn't said anything. But, maybe she would get personal messages on the matter from them later. For now, she went to go grab food, and rest for a while. At least until something new came up.

In terms of getting Saren and Garrus to work together, things hadn't gone as planned. She'd have to take Garrus into the training room for a while to smack some sense into him. She smirked as she sat down with a plate of food and began eating at the idea of Saren taking down Garrus. If she remembered correctly, that was how turians let off steam in the military. It might be worth a shot, especially if she were supervising it. Emma didn't want anyone to get hurt, after all.

Once she finished the meal which was about average quality, she sauntered over to Saren's private quarters, not surprised to see Miranda being practically shoved out of the room as she entered. It never failed to amuse her how that woman's mind seemed to shift so quickly towards being friendly to whom she called months ago "the worst man in the entire history of the galaxy". Maybe that near-death experience with an oversized bug helped her sort out her priorities.

"Do you need something, Shepard?" Saren asked, exhausted and plopping himself into his chair.

"I was just coming down to chat." She paused. "Is this a bad time?"

"As long as you aren't going to attempt to pry my plates off, we can talk." His head was in his hands. He looked bad and she stepped closer.

"Saren, you can kick me out if you want to rest a little more."

"It's nothing."

"I don't think 'nothing' looks like pain." She bent over a little, leveling her head. "What's eating at you?"

"The Council just-" He started and then sighed again. He was quiet and she only grew more worried. Emma was about to nudge him when he spoke again. "They found out I'm still alive, and on your ship. They've ordered me to go to the Citadel at once to carry out trial." Emma stood up straight.

"Tell them to talk to me. And tell them that so long as you are aboard my ship, you are to be treated as a part of my crew, and that all messages from them from here on out will first go through me." She said, giving him a few minutes to do so after prodding him to do it. She was stone-faced while he typed out the message, her exact words being said. After it was sent, she looked down and saw he was smiling up at her. "What?"

"I've never seen you that harsh towards the Council."

"You haven't seen me utterly pissed off, either." She smirked, beginning to feel a little tired herself, pulling a chair over so she could sit down and talk to him for a while.

He appeared more relaxed to her, but that could have been fatigue. She was still new to reading turian expression, but she was having fun trying. After a little over an hour, Emma saw Saren briefly clamp his mandibles to his mouth, and she recognized that. He'd been looking at something other than her face. She couldn't help but smirk, and ended the conversation before the subject came up. She then mentioned that she would talk to him again tomorrow about the Council, but otherwise left without another word to him.

"Shepard..." Garrus was just coming off the elevator.

"Need something?" She asked.

"Actually, yeah." He paused, rubbing at the back of his neck - a human habit he'd picked up.

"You can come up to talk to me." She said, stepping in the elevator, speaking as though it were nothing. And it was nothing to her. He stepped back in with her, on the opposite side and clearly trying to figure out her mood based on her body language. But, to his disappointment she defaulted to her typical 'Commander' stance, not taking the small smile off her face. She couldn't imagine Saren thinking her attractive at the least, but if Garrus had, then maybe it wasn't so outlandish. The elevator hadn't even rung that it was at the cabin, and she was already stepping towards the door, letting it open as she slipped her foot through. She unlocked the cabin and stepped through that door as well, making sure Garrus had followed, since he hadn't spoken.

"So, what's up?" She asked, sitting down and silently inviting him to sit as well. He stood for a minute and then accepted while she waited for an answer.

"I'm sorry about what happened down there with Saren. I was just thinking... Maybe it was a trap."

"I understand that, and I'm glad you were looking out for me. Just try not to do it again, or I might have him take you down for it, later." She shrugged. She didn't want to get into an argument over a simple dot. If he'd fired, that would have been entirely different.

"Um. There's something else, too."

"Go ahead."

"Saren... Told me that the Council had contacted him."

"And?"

"I'm just wondering if you knew why he did that?"

"Saren's trying to get along with everyone the best he can. He's not evil like he used to be when he had all the implants." She paused. "To be honest, I think he wants to be friends with you. You two are the same species to begin with, you're both deadly with weapons, and believe it or not, I think you two can work well together without me there."

"Do you really believe that, or is that what you want?" He narrowed his eyes, facing her with an arm stretched on the back of the couch behind her.

"It's both, Garrus. If I can convince the Council to free him of charges of betrayal of the Council and terrorism, then you need to promise me you're going to at least get to know him better, to the point you can determine whether or not you can be a friend to him like you are to me."

"Only in that situation?"

"Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

Emma went to bed, staying up due to the few things on her mind that she had to consider. The first was that thanks to her accidental mentioning of a name in her report to the Council, Saren now had to face them sooner than he was ready to. She had to figure out what to say to rightfully defend him, as well as convincing a few of her crew to speak on his behalf as well. She'd gone to Thane first, who was ready to advocate for Saren. He'd stated that Saren wasn't the same as he'd been during the attack, and if he was the same, then he wouldn't be as docile as he appeared to be now. It wasn't necessarily a solid statement, but maybe Thane would be more eloquent and elaborate more in front of the Council. Joker was ready to advocate as well, not having any complaints about Saren "screwing up the routine" as he'd put it. Emma didn't have any hope for him to brush it up for the Council.

And then she had to consider what she would say for him. She knew that she would say what she had been from the beginning: that Saren was mislead in a direction that caused some destruction of the Citadel, possible insanity she might add, but since being removed from the pressures of being a Spectre, and the removed from the public eye, he could calm himself down enough that he felt now he could properly be reintroduced into society, and that the actions performed previously were actions of a different man than the one that would be standing in front of them.

As Emma recited this on the day of Saren's trial three weeks later, she felt herself shaking with anger. It wasn't right. If the Council would only believe what she'd been telling them about the Reapers, then her case would be much simpler. She could explain the effects of indoctrination that she'd seen in the Cerberus labs, and apply it directly to Saren's case. But Sparatus would hear none of it, and thus no one but Anderson believed in the Reapers.

She was praying that Anderson could look over his past relationship with Saren, and take her side. He was crucial in determining how the rest of the Council would vote. If he said no, then it was a lost cause, and Saren would end up being sentenced to death surely. Emma needed him to help her win the ongoing fight. She'd said all she could, gotten everyone she could to speak. There was nothing else to do but render judgement. With such an important matter, no one had been allowed in the Council Chambers for any of the sessions, and Saren was kept in a private room nearby. It was to be kept out of the public eye until it was dealt with.

Emma's eyes locked with Anderson's, and she knew her fear was showing. He looked down for a minute at the panel before him, determining what he would vote. The other councilors were doing the same, taking into heavy consideration what should be done. Sparatus was the first to make a decision, no doubt relying on his military-like instincts, taking the facts as they were. Emma didn't know what his vote was, but she could probably guess it was guilty. As Tevos and Valern voted, only Anderson remained. He finally pressed a button and looked up to Emma, a small smile on his face. She held her breath but was glad to know that someone could overlook everything and see the truth.

If Saren was convicted, there would be little delay in letting this all leak to the public. His execution would probably be broadcast through the entire galaxy, and Shepard would be taken down as well, for harboring a fugitive, and assisting a terrorist. The Alliance would probably try to back her up, but she didn't know how far their influence would reach with the Council.

If Saren was spared, he would be under watch for several months, and go under vigorous medical testing until he was proven to be safe for the public. What Emma didn't know was whether or not he would still retain his Spectre status. She had a feeling he'd have to go through another bout of testing, similar to when he was first being considered. IF that were the case, she'd want to see over that to a degree.

Her mind was flying a mile a minute through all the scenarios, looking over to Saren as he stood on a pedestal with his hands and feet shackled, looking more sickly than his natural self. He looked miserable, understandably, and malnourished. If he'd chosen not to eat, it was because he was just as nervous in this moment as she was. He forced his gaze down upon the fixed glass, his blood long since washed from the grass below, but the pile of moved soil still visible. She could tell it haunted him seeing the scene now.

"Saren Arterius." Tevos began, stepping forward. The guards on either side of Saren began doing something to him. "The Council has found the accusations of treason and terrorism to be inaccurate. As such you are allowed your life."

Saren collapsed to the ground as soon as his shackles were free, but Emma stayed put with her eyes glued to him.

"You are directed to undergo medical testing, as well as confinement for three months, or until we deem you safe to the public. Further details will come within the next hour." Tevos said again, her voice quaking, but holding firm as well. "The meeting of the Council is adjourned."

Emma walked quickly over to Saren to help him back up, looking up to Anderson as he spoke.

"I would like to see both of you in my office as soon as you are available." He then turned to walk out, behind Sparatus.

"At least you'll get to do what you want, for the most part." She said quietly. He was still staring at the ground, his brows shifted into confusion and more pain. His hand was on her shoulder.

"Thank you." He said quietly, letting go of her, waiting for her to lead them to the Councilor's office, the two guards following as a safety measure. The walk was silent but the relief was felt between both of them. When they arrived, Anderson was just getting back. He exchanged a handshake with Shepard first, and then held his hand out for Saren, looking up at him.

"I know we haven't always gotten along. But Shepard has told me what she really believes about your case, and I can't deny what I know is true." There was a lengthy pause. "I hope you'll be different this time around."

"So long as she watches my back, I'm sure I'll do better." Saren said, taking his hand with restraint. The three sat down, and since Shepard was considered to be a major part of Saren's case, she was allowed to hear the requirements for his eventual release.

"As the asari councilor said before, you'll have to go through medical testing. It should only be about five visits total in one month. We only say three, because sometimes the testing takes a little longer. I don't think you have much to worry about, Saren. You'll be allowed to walk around on the Citadel while under "confinement", just with a few guards around the area."

"That hardly sounds safe for those who aren't as lucky as myself and truly are insane."

"It changes with every case." Anderson said sharply. "I did pull a few favors for yours."

"Thank you again, Councilor." Saren bowed his head. As he and Emma were excused, she couldn't help but hug her friend. It shocked her that Anderson could be so nice to his face, when surely there was something bubbling deep down.

Emma walked with Saren to the room he would be in for the next few weeks, at least. They didn't speak, as they hadn't been able to for nearly a month while the hearings went on. But now she was free to visit whenever she liked. Her arm nudged his.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Are you okay if I stick around a little bit with you?"

"Sure." He showed a faint smile, but he looked practically dead now that she could see him. He really did look like he had a skull for a head. They walked through the door to the apartment-like room. It was small to say the least, but comfortable. There was a window that looked out at the Citadel, with one of the most incredible views she'd ever seen while on it. He went to get food right away, pleased to see it was already stocked with dextro based foods. Emma smiled more and went to sit down while he shoved a few items of food into his mouth.

"Do you think you can manage to live here for a while?" She asked after looking around. It reminded her of her own apartment in some ways. It was decorated throughout, but sparsely so. The walls and floors were all the same - even the doors had the same grey color to them.

"I can manage. I might miss the view, though." Saren said, pointing out the window as he crunched on something, walking to sit next to her. At the moment, he reminded her of a teenager who'd just woken up during the summer about midday. He was very casual with her, too.

"Yeah. You don't get that every day." She smiled, "I guess you could always take a picture, though."

"I'll have to make sure I send it to you, too."

"Of course you will." She grinned and looked back out, feeling a little awkward since she had nothing to do. She didn't want to turn on the vid screen, because she knew there was nothing on, but there wasn't anything else to do. She looked down at her boots, and decided to retie both of them, they were starting to feel a little loose.

"Hey," Saren spoke just as she felt a familiar warm, three-fingered hand on her lower back. Her body stiffened but as she sat up straight again, the hand wrapped around her, and she was surprised with a rather friendly embrace from him. "I really owe you for this."

"I think not killing me should do it." She said, half-laughing but being polite and returning the hug. It lasted a little longer than she thought it would.

"Really, though. Once I can go back to my own apartment, if you need my help with anything, I'll be there to help you." He said as he then sat back again as if he hadn't just shown Emma his cold heart truly had melted away after a few years. She began feeling a little more comfortable.

"I'll let you know if I think of anything." She then looked down at her omni-tool as a message came through.

_Sender: Garrus _  
_Message: I guess I need to know where the recently released convict is, don't I?_

Emma grinned and looked over Saren.

"Mind if I let everyone else know where they can see their favorite vicious turian?" She couldn't help but laugh as he groaned, throwing his head back in mock annoyance with her. If he was acting this open in front of her now, she didn't know if she cared if he looked at her again. In fact, as she left a few hours later, she was hoping he had looked at her when she walked out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I'm so happy that I've had a few people follow this story, even though it's only a few days old. It makes me feel very confident in what I'm doing, so thank you. Unfortunately I will not be as quick to update now that I'm returning to school after break, though I'm aiming for a new chapter at least once every other week._

_A quick word about the next couple of chapters: they're from Saren's point of view. Just so you don't get confused._

* * *

After Emma had left the room, Saren continued to eat, unsure of what he could, or should do. He knew that he could expect a few others to come see him. He began praying to the spirits that Miranda wouldn't be there any time soon. There was a lot that he could do while he was here, the only trouble was figuring out what those things would be. He'd taken several pictures from his omni-tool of the view out of the window, and had continued having a brief conversation with Emma after he'd sent her the best one.

She was an interesting person, he came to realize with her absence. Saren told himself that she wasn't as awkward as he'd thought due to her previous relationship, but he suspected that even without the relationship she'd have been just as confident around him, and unafraid. He'd done his best to hide it when he noticed it himself, but when he looked at her body, his eyes were drawn mostly to her waist out of habit, but it was definitely not lacking by any turian standards. When Saren lay down on the bed that night, he found himself wondering a few things about Emma that she hadn't told him. Of course what did he do? He opened up his omni-tool, and started talking with Garrus for a few minutes.

Sender: Saren  
Message: I was wondering if you'd like to come by some time. You're just about the only turian I've become somewhat acquainted with that's still living, and I could use a conversation with my own species.

Sender: Garrus  
Message: I guess I can make time. Is 1400 tomorrow acceptable?

Sender: Saren  
Message: You can come by at any time, really.

Sender: Garrus  
Message: I'll just come by at 1400.

Saren smiled a little bit, and lay his omni-tool down to sleep, surprised he felt safe without a gun under his pillow. Perhaps it was because the back of his mind kept screaming 'Citadel Prison' before he attempted to sleep. He hadn't slept much lately, and the bed was rather comfortable, as well as the pillow. He had a smile on his face when he fell asleep, soon sprawling out across the entire bed because he could. If he was going to be spending time here, he might as well make the best of it.

But despite his comfortable body, his mind was tearing him apart. He'd had dream for once. It was as wonderful as it was terrifying, because he'd found himself on Palaven, face to face with Sovereign. The Hierarchy was behind him, he knew, and all that stood between himself and the Reaper was the destroyed path of buildings, burnt bodies, and hoards of husks. His instinct was to find a weapon and run; there was no possible outcome of him facing this threat and making it out alive. His best chance was to say "screw you" to his government, and take the opportunity to save his own hide. But as Saren turned, in slow-motion, the bright red beam of energy cut the street below him, sending him to fall to the core of the planet. The core, in his dream, resembled that of the reaper core he'd seen on Sovereign: large, hot, and capable of destroying anything that came within the aura it projected. The burning sensation that Saren felt shortly after was what almost woke him up.

He was instead soothed by a friendlier warmth at his backside, which he couldn't turn in time to see what it was. There was a soft hum that he could feel through his back to his core, and it sent a shiver through him. The destruction above and around him faded to a gentle blue light, everything else black. There was no sense of up, down, or any depth. He slowly reached out and found that he could touch the light. Picking it up in his hands, the warmth on his back disappeared through him, and manifested into the orb. It had a strange texture to it. Saren had expected the warmth that pulsated with each beat of his heart, but what surprised him was how soft, squishy, and stretchy it was. It felt like holding a blanket in a way, it was very soft to the touch, but if you squished it, eventually it would retain its shape again. He pulled on it a little, and it didn't stretch more than a few centimeters, but it was entertaining.

As Saren observed the orb further, he found a crack in it, gently prying it open despite the horrible noise that came out of it each time he did so. He was curious to see what was inside. When it was fully opened and he could see what it truly was, Saren dropped it out of shock, and watched the orb shatter on the ground that suddenly appeared beneath him. He'd shattered Emma, who had been curled up naked inside. That was what Saren woke up to.

The lights in the room automatically turned on, dim due to the hour of the new day. He growled, rubbing at his head as he sat up. Saren frantically grabbed for his omni-tool, quickly opening the program he'd frequently used on occasions like this. He briefly looked over some of his other notes he'd made about other dreams, but opened up a new page and began typing what he could remember, using every little detail that he could. He found that if he wrote it down while it was fresh, he could sleep without worry again, and decipher what had happened later. It took a little over an hour for Saren to get everything down, before he went back and added even more details to what he'd experienced. He leaned back with a sigh as he saved it, now feeling wide awake. he scrolled through some other programs, opening up what little music he had, letting it play as he placed his omni-tool back down, falling asleep in no time.

When he woke up the second time, after having no recollection of having a dream earlier, Saren got up and showered, ate, and sat down for the longest time with no idea of what he should do. He smirked, remembering that when he felt like this on the Normandy, he usually picked up a model of something that wasn't built, and put it together. If he didn't have one that wasn't built already, he'd sometimes take one apart, and then put it back together. Unfortunately he hadn't thought of taking his collection with him from the Normandy. So he sat there in boredom, turning on the vid screen to look for something to entertain him. All he found was a re-run of a show that had the worst final season ratings of any program by any species. He could only laugh, because it was an exclusively volus cast, and the acting didn't say much at all.

There was a knock on his door early in the afternoon, and Saren sighed, thanking the spirits as the fourth episode of the show had started. He turned off the vid screen before he got to the door, forgetting for a moment why Garrus had come.

"You just saved me another hour of boredom." Saren said first, then stepping to the side so the other turian could step in.

"Dare I ask what you were doing?"

"Have you ever heard of 'Faulty'?" Saren chanced, knowing fully he might look like an idiot for referencing it.

"Who hasn't, and what about it?" Garrus smirked a little.

"The only somewhat interesting thing to watch was that show. I've been watching it for three hours already." Saren shook his head, both sitting down at opposite ends of the couch.

"I guess it is a good thing I came over." He chuckled, and then sighed, "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I was actually thinking of talking at you for a little bit, and then maybe asking some questions."

"About what?" The other turian grew skeptic, and a little worried by the sound of his subharmonics.

"Emma." Saren said carefully, watching his reaction.

"I thought you would say that." He grumbled, "I guess I'll have a few questions for you, as well."

It wasn't the best way to start their first conversation without the human, or anyone else to play referee. Saren first mentioned to Garrus that he was beyond grateful for what Emma had done for him in all aspects, even thanking Garrus for aiding her in killing him the first time. He then mentioned how often the two had talked, saying that he wasn't sure what he was to her. Skillfully, before the other turian could go into any sort of rage, Saren brought up his omni-tool, scrolling through his notes until he found what he'd written down earlier that morning. He handed his omni-tool over to Garrus to let him read through it, sitting patiently.

"Do you think you can help me make sense of that?" Saren asked when he was handed back his tool. Garrus nodded, thinking hard before he spoke.

"To some extent, I've had several dreams that were strikingly similar to that, when I was with Emma. Of course most of it was that second half. You didn't really mention the hue that the blue was though..."

"It was... Light. Or in between a light and medium."

"That's funny. That's the same color as her aquarium, I would imagine." Garrus smiled, starting at the coffee table as he spoke. "I wouldn't say that seeing her inside was all that normal, either."

"What do you mean?" Saren tilted his head to the side.

"First of all, I would assume the only times you've seen her, she's been clothed." He said with a tone that still said 'mate' to Saren, "Secondly, why do you think she was inside of that orb?"

"I don't know. Protection from something?"

"You said it was soft, though. Protection against something larger is usually something hard."

"I don't know..."

"To me, it seems like that shell might have been less symbolic of her than it was of you." Garrus looked into Saren's eyes now, relaxed and giving him a look that took Saren back to when he was a child, and had gone to his mother when he'd been afraid he'd broken his arm after falling down. Was Garrus worried for him?

"Maybe..." He sighed. "Maybe I need more time with it, though."

"So, let me ask you something before I forget, and have to leave."

"Go ahead."

"Do you like her?"

"She's a nice person." He shrugged.

"Let me put it this way," Garrus chuckled, sitting up more and leaning towards Saren, "If you had to choose between meeting her boyfriend, or meeting her parents, which would it be?"

"I don't understand the question."

"Just answer my question and I'll explain it. It's a human thing." Garrus waved him off. He thought for a minute, incredibly confused by it, but coming to a conclusion.

"I'd rather meet her parents, I guess."

"So you are interested in her." Garrus grinned, leaning back again.

"Why couldn't you have just asked me that?"

"That would be too easy. You were a Spectre, you need a challenge."


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: In this chapter, there is mention of potential cures for a particular genetic disease. They're all fake, and it's going off of what I know about the disease, even though I don't have it myself. I've done plenty of research on it, though. And sorry about the length of this chapter, I couldn't decide when to end it._

_And again, this chapter is in Saren's perspective._

* * *

"So explain that scenario to me, because I'm not seeing a connection." Saren nearly growled, not sure why Garrus was laughing.

"The fact that you would rather meet her family as opposed to a significant other means that you wouldn't be very happy seeing her with someone else intimately. Typically that means that you would rather be the boyfriend, as she explained it to me."

"Emma explained that to you?"

"Of course she did." He smirked. "How do you think I became her boyfriend in the first place?"

"How's that working out for you?" Saren shot back quickly, draining Garrus' smile, and then laughing at his reaction.

"I'll tell you why she broke up with me, and why I'm not nearly as upset with you saying that as someone else might be." Garrus then stood up, one of his knees popping in the process. "She broke up with me because she said we weren't working out. I found out a few weeks later it was because emotionally I was too soft for her. Now I'm not upset with you because last night her and I had dinner after she'd been here with you. She couldn't stop smiling when she was talking about you, and she had that look in her eye like she used to with me. You, my friend, are starting to act the same way, only you two are dancing around each other pretending that there isn't any sort of mutual attraction." He paused for a breath, and then continued for a final thought, "Saren, you are just what Emma needs, because there is no way in hell she's ever going to settle for anything but another turian in her life."

This whole time, Saren was slowly sinking further back into the couch until he was sure he'd become the couch himself. Processing what Garrus was saying wasn't hard at all. It was the coolness that he was going about the topic that was blowing Saren's mind.

"You aren't going to be upset at this if it does all work out to be that her and I are together, as insane as that is?"

"It's not insane. You've already moved past the whole 'I hate humans' part by allowing her to help you when you needed it most. But no, I'm not going to be upset, because I know that you'll do a much better job than I did in keeping her happy."

Saren sighed and they were both quiet, Saren getting up to walk around a little. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Garrus had a point. He did like Emma. She'd spent time with him when no one else would, she helped him get his feet back on the ground literally yesterday, and she hadn't thrown him to the floor when he'd touched her like he had half expected her to do.

"I guess I should be asking you for advice, since I know nearly nothing about humans when it comes to relationships." He said in defeat of his emotions for a change. It felt good to give up on something that he didn't agree with. He saw Garrus check the time and flick his mandibles with impatience.

"I actually have a meeting that I need to get to soon. But, I could send you a few things that I still have on my omni-tool that might help."

"I'll take it." Saren said with a shrug. "And thank you for coming over."

"I almost didn't come." Garrus chuckled, shaking hands with Saren before he let himself out. Saren's omni-tool pinged three times a few minutes later, and as he picked it up, he saw one message from Garrus, and two from Emma.

Sender: Emma  
Message: Are you free tonight?

Sender: Emma  
Message: Scratch that, you can't go anywhere. I'm coming over in a few hours anyway.

"Already?" He whined quietly, trying to act like he wasn't desperate and pulling out a few of the extranet links that Garrus had sent, along with a message that read, "It's never mentioned, but it helps to not play yourself up. Especially since Emma already knows what you're like." He chuckled at the first one that opened - it was an entire article titled 'So you like to experiment'.

When Saren finished reading through it, he was impressed. Garrus had done some rather extensive research and it seemed like it would be rather useful. A quick glance at the time his omni-tool read forced Saren into reading a little further to avoid being bored, as well as turning back to watching the show 'Faulty' again. He shuddered at the thought. He'd already known, for different purposes, how far the human body should, and could bend, but seeing a few images turned his mind elsewhere, to which Saren promptly shut of his omni-tool, and waited for Emma to arrive in the silence, his leg bouncing a bit with anticipation. Lucky for him it was only twenty minutes, and he sprang up to get the door.

"Well hello." She grinned, not expecting him to be right there when she'd knocked to open the door by the look on her face. Saren saw she had a bag in her hand, and he offered to take it from her when she walked in. "Oh it's fine. I was thinking since you could go out somewhere to eat with me, I would bring the somewhere to eat to you." She grinned.

"Um. Thanks, I guess." Saren smiled, setting down the bag in the kitchen area, letting her hover over it. It was a little quiet so he decided to talk to her, not feeling particularly hungry at the moment, but not stopping her from eating what she'd gotten. "So, what did you do all day?"

"I spent probably my entire morning at the doctor's office. But that's my own fault, I went in without an appointment." She opened the take-out box which let out steam, and an aroma that Saren found appealing to his own stomach. She didn't bother to sit, both standing in the kitchen for now.

"Why were you there?"

"Well I'd heard a friend of mine had gotten tested for having an immunity to levo-based foods. I was curious and wanted to see if I could ever eat dextro-foods, so I got tested and I'll find out tomorrow." She said as though it were nothing. Saren recalled having read something about that just an hour before, but then his mind wandered again and he snapped himself out of that thought.

"Do you like going to get tested for fun?" He teased a bit.

"Maybe." She grinned. "It certainly makes sure I take care of myself. That and I already have to take multiple shots a day."

"What for?" Saren had turned from her, deciding he was hungry, but he turned the moment he did so to look at her.

"I was born with a few medical conditions." She then took a bite of her food, setting it down and chewing, placing her hands on her hips. Saren's eyes followed her hands before he turned away to fish out the other box while she then continued to talk. "A couple of my conditions are to the point where I only need to check for flare ups, but the one that I won't ever be able to get rid of isn't so bad, either, once you learn to live with it."

"Does it have a name?"

"I didn't think you'd want to know." She smiled. "It's called Diabetes. Have you... Ever heard of it?"

"I haven't. What is it?" Saren didn't know what to expect when he asked the question, but he hoped it wasn't anything that would spoil his appetite, because what she'd gotten for him was from one of the best turian chefs on the Citadel, and it was his favorite meal.

"I'll be brief so we can both eat. Very simply put, my body has trouble making a hormone called insulin, which takes care of moving sugar through my blood and thus through my body. It's genetic." She said, chewing on her lower lip a little when she finished talking, looking at him and then turning to the side to grab her food again, taking a rather large bite.

"And there's no way to cure it?" Saren was in disbelief. It sounded so simple to him, even though he had no idea how bad it could be. She shook her head, swallowing painfully to speak.

"Researchers keep saying they're close to curing it, but then they end up having some other god-awful side-effect like brain hemorrhages, blindness, and in one study, severe nerve damage in the legs. Coincidentally, those last two are also side-effects of living with the disease if not properly monitored."

"Let's talk about something a little more cheerful." Saren said suddenly, not wanting to start pitying her, knowing she probably wouldn't like that.

"Like what?"

"Well... What did you do after your visit to the doctor?"

"I sat around with Grunt for a while. He told me he was going back to Tuchanka, so I thought I'd say goodbye to him my way, by hugging him." She grinned, "If krogan blush, I think I saw him nearly die." Saren couldn't help but laugh at that image of her hugging a krogan against his will.

"He'll probably want to get back at you for that."

"He can always just drink me under the table next time we see each other." She grinned, both of them going quiet again to eat. He was enjoying the food much more than he thought. She must have gotten plenty of experience determining what would taste good to turians when she was with Garrus. Again, he silently thanked him for coming over earlier. He'd also ask later that neither of them mentioned what it mostly turned out to be about. When they'd finished eating, Saren had found the trash, and thrown the empty boxes into it. Emma had moved to sit on the couch, but seeing as Saren felt like laying down, he'd placed himself on the bed, leaving some room for her to sit if she wanted.

"Was there anything else you did?"

"Well I got the food, but that wasn't anything special."

"It was a little bit. I wasn't expecting you to bring anything, and you happened to pick my favorite restaurant, and meal." Saren said as he closed his eyes, resting his hands behind his head.

"I did that?" She chuckled a little.

"You did. I'm impressed."

"I didn't think I had to prove myself to you." Emma said. There was the slightness of the teasing tone that made Saren open his eyes again and look over at her. She had her arms folded on the back of the couch, with her chin resting on top of her arms. Her usually brushed aside blonde hair was now slowly falling in front of her bright blue eyes, and she had an interesting glow in her eyes.

"You don't, really." He said, unable to take his eyes off her now.

"Good, I was getting nervous about how to impress you next." She grinned, turning back around so she could get up, sitting at the foot of the bed and facing him. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel a little tired right now, is all."

"Should I leave?"

"No, no. It's alright. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"I'm sorry about that." Emma was smiling softly, and she looked around with a sigh. "There isn't much to do here, is there?"

"No, there isn't. I tried finding something to watch earlier and I couldn't find anything worthwhile."

"Maybe next time I'll bring something for you to do." She hummed, causing him to sit up a little bit more, feeling suddenly more awake at the familiarity of the sound.

"Like what?"

"I hear there's a new store that opened up a few weeks ago. Nothing but model ships and buildings." She grinned, nudging him. "Maybe I'll stop there on my way home."

"You don't need to do that for me, Emma."

"You're going to go insane if you don't have something to do. Besides, you always have the option to pay me back the credits later."

"True." He smiled, and it appeared as though she decided it was time for her to leave. "Emma?"

"Hm?"

"Maybe you should see if there's a movie we could watch next time. I mean, I like talking with you. But I'd also like to have something good to watch." He said, clearing his throat a few times, but looking her in the eye. The smile on her face grew as he talked.

"I'll keep an eye out. And don't worry, I won't force you to watch Fleet and Flotilla like I did with Garrus. Big mistake." She leaned over to give him a hug before she left, which was just what Saren needed from her at the moment. Unintentionally while she was so close to him, he took in her scent and did everything he could to prevent himself from letting out any audible sign of how he enjoyed her scent. It was rather metallic, with a bit of a sweet twist as well. He didn't ever like sweet until now.


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as Emma left, she found that she was kicking herself. She'd agreed to try to find something for Saren to do, whether it be something for him to build or watch. She didn't know what he liked, and she'd gotten lucky with the food he ate.

Because she was feeling so tired all of a sudden, she put the thoughts out of her mind and headed to her apartment to sleep. She wasn't surprised that she was greeted by reporters at the bottom of the Citadel tower, and she said nothing as they hoarded around her. Eventually, a few C-Sec officers ran over, helping her on her way back home. She thanked the two officers before she closed the door, the noise of questions and cameras still on the other side of her door. She was sure if they stayed for a few more minutes, she could get a lawsuit ready for harassment. A small smile ran over her features as she then walked to her bedroom. For a moment, she wondered whether or not she should change out of her clothes, and eventually she did so, climbing under the blanket and falling asleep in minutes.

That next morning, Emma took her time to wake up. She stood for a good half hour in front of the window, looking out at all the traffic zooming by. Today, she didn't feel like doing anything, and that would have posed a problem except for the fact that she already had her mind set on doing one or two things. She took a rather long shower, happy to have and endless supply of warm water at her disposal. When she stepped out of the shower, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her tightly. She was soon startled by a knock on her front door. Quickly pulling on a robe, she went to go see who might have possibly been at her door.

"Commander Shepard." The Alliance officer said, taking off his hat and tucking it underneath his right arm with a crisp uniform. "I need to talk to you."

"Come in." She said, unfortunately remembering the tone she was hearing the day she'd heard about her father's death when she was only a teenager. She felt uncomfortable in her robe, and excused herself to quickly change into her clothes. Emma noticed her breath was growing short, and her heart was beating fast. When she walked out and sat down across from the officer, she was struggling to keep her knees from shaking.

"As I'm sure you know, the Alliance contacted you about five months ago about making an appointment for a hearing at HQ." The officer began with a hard, stone face, his eyes staring into hers. "They sent me to tell you that unless you make an appointment by the end of this week, you will be arrested and charged for not re-registering yourself in the system, as well as abandonment of your ship, crew, and the Alliance." The man puled out a closed letter, and then placed it down on the coffee table. "That's just the formal, detailed letter to you. Do you have any questions?"

"You said I had to make an appointment by the end of the week. Is there a specific type of appointment?" Emma asked with her strength quickly returning to her. Though the fatigue thinking about the process had already begun to set in.

"You should specify that you want a hearing with the Council."

"Alright. Thank you very much for coming." She said, standing up, giving him a formal salute and then walking him to the door. When he left she felt like getting out as soon as possible. She waited a good fifteen minutes so she wouldn't accidentally run into the man that she'd just seen, and without thinking, she went straight to the store she'd told Saren about with all the models. For the most part she was simply looking around to get her mind off of what she had to face.

Emma saw one particular model that she couldn't help but think Saren would appreciate. She didn't bother to look at the price of it, instead picking it up, and looking for larger ones that would take more time. She'd only seen three that Saren didn't already have, but she did get one for herself as well. She walked out with the bag in her hand, and sighed. Emma didn't understand why she was doing this for him, other than she couldn't stand to think that Saren would be bored. She decided after what she'd spent, she would skip finding a movie. So instead, she walked around to do more window shopping, swearing there wouldn't be anything else she would buy. A few hours later she walked to go visit Saren, not calling ahead to let him any warning. She only hoped he wasn't asleep.

The door was locked as usual, but unlike usual the call button was locked as well. She waited a few minutes, and to her surprise the button unlocked, as well as the door. More than a few doctors walked out, and when she peaked in, Saren was staring at the floor on the couch. She didn't know if he wanted a few minutes to himself or not, but she stepped in anyway.

"Are you alright?" She said quietly.

"I will be." He was quiet, still looking down. His hands were folded, and his arms rested on his legs as he leaned forward a little bit.

"Do you want to be alone for a few minutes?"

"No, I just don't want to have to deal with those idiots for a while."

"Are you allowed to talk about it?"

"Some things."

"Well you can talk if you want to." She said as she sat down, putting the bag down at the end of the couch where he couldn't see it. He sat back when she was closer and even turned to face her.

"Not... Right now." He sighed, closing his eyes. She couldn't help but reach over and gently squeeze his forearm, but he responded positively and sat upright again. "Can we talk about something else, though?"

"Of course." She smiled and leaned back, waiting. Suddenly she remembered the letter sitting on her coffee table at home, as her eyes drifted and saw an envelope for Saren as well. She knew her smile faded, and after the third time Saren called her name, she finally looked up.

"What was that?"

"I'm sorry. I just saw that envelope and remembered I have one at home."

"And what is in it?"

"A letter that says I have to go back to the Alliance and have to do a few things. Which means I'll have to leave soon unfortunately." Emma spoke carefully.

"I see." He looked down, and she felt horrible for saying that to him. There wasn't anything she could do this time to make him feel better except continue to say that she would come visit again before she had to leave. It seemed to help, but neither one spoke for a few minutes.

"Has anyone else come to visit you recently?" Emma tried changing subjects.

"Garrus has come by a couple times, now. Thane stopped by once with Tali. But other than that no one else has bothered." Saren shrugged.

"I'm not surprised. Those three were the ones who were the most anxious about meeting you to begin with." She watched him go quiet again, remembering what she'd brought with her and turning to pull one box out for him, gently sliding it over. "I found this earlier." He picked up the box and looked over it with a smile.

"An Alliance Cruiser from... 2142?" He looked up. "That's six years before the First Contact War."

"It's one of the first cruisers the Alliance made that was meant to go through the relays. It says it was built in 2142, but it was actually finished in 2144." Emma said as she scratched at the back of her neck with a smile. Saren became intrigued very quickly in this ship's history, and lucky for Emma, she had all the answers he was looking for.


	12. Chapter 12

Emma had stayed in the room with Saren for more hours than she had originally planned, most if not all of it consisting of the two of them talking. She smiled often, the bulk of the conversation first coming from her, though it slowly shifted to her listening to him. It was a nice change. But unfortunately she soon realized that it was nearing time for her to leave so she could still rest. When she tried excusing herself, two times already Saren had convinced her to stay for one more hour. Emma didn't want to give in a third time, and so when she stood up, she grabbed her things and headed to the door.

"Will you come back tomorrow?"

"I may have something that I need to do first, but I'll try." She smiled and opened the door while he was still sitting on the couch.

It was when she was half way home, after thinking back on the day she'd had, that she realized she would have to respond to the Alliance Council soon, otherwise she would forget, and likely be arrested. As she pulled out her omni-tool, Emma figured it would be better to figure out everything now, rather than later. Even if it meant staying up one more hour to do so. When she finally got into bed an hour and a half later, she received a message stating that she would have a meeting in one week. Which meant that she would be leaving at the end of this one, in three days. She laid down and fell asleep the moment she closed her eyes, and let out a large sigh.

Dreams that Emma had were either just memories of past events, or strange, undecipherable messages from her subconscious. She took delight in neither, and so she often went restless when one occurred. As such, she wasn't surprised to find herself waking up after remembering what she'd seen on the collector ship. Of course the memory still haunted her, but since it had happened, Emma had also learned of ways to help herself deal with it. One way was to get up and exercise, which she didn't feel like doing at the moment. The other way was to start humming to herself, preferably where there was not a single trace of light. The insecurity of knowing her surroundings helped somehow. She got out of bed, grabbed the blanket, and turned to place herself in her closet, wrapping herself in her blanket, and then beginning to hum without tune to herself. She fell asleep again, curled up on the floor in her closet, with the door just open slightly because of the blanket. Later in her sleep, she managed to kick the door open more.

Something on her foot caused her to wake up with a startle. After the blinding light of the windows subsided, the shadow in front of her came into focus. Thane had broken in to her apartment, and looked relieved to see that she was alive. Had it been anyone else, Emma would have started screaming at them, asking how they managed to get in. But because it was Thane, she didn't even want to know how.

"Why are you here?" She asked, sitting herself up.

"I should be the one to ask you that." He said with a smile, offering a hand to help her up when she was ready.

"I couldn't go back to sleep in bed." Emma stretched out once she was standing, putting her blanket back on the bed. "Now, tell me why you're here."

"Someone was worried about you, and they asked me to make sure you were alright." He said, standing as perfect as ever.

"Who was it?"

"It was Jeff."

"I was supposed to meet him for drinks last night." She sighed heavily, pausing herself. She stared down at her hands and then suddenly stood up straight herself.

"Emma, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I just feel bad about promising him something and then completely forgetting about it."

"I'm sure he'll get over it." Thane offered her, leaning against the wall now.

"Maybe." There was a pause as she thought more. She began to fix the sheets on her bed when she spoke again, "What have you been up to?"

"I visited my son the other day. He seems to be doing well."

"That's good. I assume there's nothing else that I need to know about?" She smiled.

"Not that I think you will be interested in." He returned the smile.

"Thanks for stopping by, I'll talk to Joker after I take a shower." She sighed, turning half way towards her bathroom.

"We can talk later, if you wish."

"If Joker ever stops talking, I'll try to remember to call you, too."

"Don't feel obligated. I know you have plans to go see Saren later." Thane said casually.

"How did you know that?" She asked, looking like he'd just revealed her small mistake of a tattoo to the world.

"We had a short conversation late last night while he was waiting for some medication to put him to sleep."

"I see..." She then walked into her bathroom, not bothering to say goodbye to Thane, knowing she'd be seeing him again soon, likely.

Emma only started the water for her shower ten minutes later, to be sure she was alone in her apartment. She'd also locked the door before undressing. The shower she took didn't last long, because she knew she had to do things today and would rather get to them sooner. She pulled fresh clothes on as she was walking through the apartment, grabbing something to eat at the same time, and then she made a call to Jeff. He talked to her for an hour before she managed to get a word in, mentioning she had an agenda to keep, while also promising to make up their outing some other time. About ten minutes later, Emma left without a thought in her mind to go spend the day with Saren. She figured if they got bored, they could always invite someone else, or she could go find something for them to do and bring it back. But, the feeling in her gut said that it wouldn't be a problem, so she thought nothing of it until she was already there at the door, wondering why she thought it was acceptable to show up without saying anything to him, or even asking if he really wanted to see her. Emma felt a bit like her aunt, who always showed up at the worst possible times to family gatherings. Regardless, she knocked on the door, and waited for it to open. What would be waiting for her on the other side was not something Emma would ever expect to see from Saren.


	13. Chapter 13

"I didn't think you would come until the afternoon." Saren looked tired, and surprised to see Emma, from what she could see.

"I can come back then, if you want more sleep." She grinned.

"As much as I would love to sleep more, I don't think I will."

"Why is that?" She was ushered in, and pushed to sit down quickly. She watched him pace the floor for a minute before they both spoke at the same time.

"I have to leave in a few days." She said.

"I can't stop thinking about you." He said.

They both looked at each other, having heard what the other said. She felt her jaw go slack, and waver as she tried to shut it in vain. And the look in his eyes nearly caused her to cry, because she could see the pain in them. All Emma could think to do was stand up and place herself before him with her arms stretched out. He looked reluctant to hug her but she convinced him in silence to subject to it. The tightness of which he held her was both a comfort, and a reminder that he was still to be feared. It was a relief to her.

"I only found out about my having to leave last night, and I didn't want to bother you, with it being as late as it was." She said after a long minute. She was whispering for some reason.

"And you can't do anything about it?"

"Unfortunately, if I don't leave my life could be the price I pay instead of credits." She then barely spoke, both clinging a little tighter, if it was at all possible. Saren apparently got tired of standing, and picked her up to sit down, but she didn't care. Emma was breaking slowly, and she buried her face in his neck, refusing to let go. The feeling of safety wasn't something that she wanted to give up so fast. Because she knew so much about how turians reacted to certain emotions, she chose to be still and unmoving, to avoid causing Saren any worry.

"When exactly are you leaving?" He ventured, tensing because of her state.

"2 A.M. on Saturday." Emma mumbled. A moment later she felt his face in her hair, with one hand at the back of her head.

Something deep inside her realized quickly that this felt familiar, and she couldn't decide if she wanted this or not. The half of her mind that was screaming that it was wrong, and going too fast was drowned out by the ache of how good it felt to be close, and intimate with someone who was able to understand her more than any other before. It felt utterly blissful to be physically as close as she could get with her clothes on, and with no added pressure to change that fact. The flutter of her heart was non-existent as she was so often told would happen. It had been there with Garrus, but with Saren there was nothing. She felt at ease, as though she'd walked these steps before and knew what was going to happen. Did that mean he was right for her?

"I didn't want you to leave yesterday." Saren finally said. "I didn't want to be alone again."

He'd driven a nail through her heart and it was gushing all over her. She whined longingly at what he'd said, making her feel even more vulnerable and causing her to shift her body to curl herself up. He adjusted his arms so she could move, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, and the other around her legs with his hand resting on her arm as she sat in his lap. As her head rested against his chest, he rested his chin on the top of her head. Rather than hearing, she could feel the deep, quiet rumble of a purr that set in and resonated from his chest. There, was a feeling she'd learned to appreciate from this: he was content to have her as she was.

"Are you alright?" Saren asked.

"No I'm not." Emma whined again, feeling pathetically right in doing so.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now, or what the hell I'm supposed to do."

"You don't have to do anything right now."

"I wouldn't be able to if I tried." She closed her eyes, and reached up to place her hand on the far side of his neck. She heard his low purr now, and with a smile, began to gently trace patterns along it. Never before had she enjoyed being held like a child. At the same time, she had never been able to forget about everything in her world so easily or so fast. Emma was certain she'd fall asleep and take a nap if he kept purring. But she opened her eyes the second he stopped doing so, about an hour after she'd come crashing into the room. Instead, he'd fallen asleep, and she chuckled quietly.

With careful effort, she'd wiggled herself out of his arms without waking him, and she now stood in front of him. She didn't know whether or not she wanted to wake him up. Looking at the time, she decided to wake him up. So she leaned over and nudged his shoulder, to which he sighed, leaning back, opening his eyes up at her.

"If you want to sleep, why don't you go lie down on the bed?"

"I was comfortable." He grinned and she shook her head.

"Go lie down, Saren."

"Are you going to leave?" He asked, sliding forward to sit up, placing his hand on the back of her knee, not knowing that she was ticklish. The moment his hand made contact she giggled, and fell over on top of him, quickly folding up her leg to cover her weak spot. He looked rather amused by this, and said, "I'll take that as a no."

After she stood up again, she was quick to move out of his reach. She was facing the door, but watching him move to lie down on the bed. He looked like he was waiting for her, but then he rolled over. She looked down to her feet, sighed quietly and prayed silently as she leaned down to take off her shoes, walking over to the bed and then crawling over to lie down herself, right in front of him, putting her back to his front. She hadn't even settled herself when she found herself being dragged closer to him, both arms securing her and preventing her from moving away from him. The warmth on her back felt nice, and caused her to shiver. The rumble in his chest began again, and she smiled a little bit as she felt it. The decision was worth it.

"Don't let me sleep too long." She said quietly as her eyes closed again.

"I let you know when it's time to go." He said, leaning over to nuzzle the side of her head before he rested his head above hers.

Emma could feel her back stretching out as she laid on the incredibly soft bed, that contoured to her shape just as she needed it to. As her back stretched, it also popped once or twice, causing her to grunt, and then let out a soft moan of relief due to her not having a proper bed to rest on for the past few months or so. Saren's soft breathing comforted her as she drifted to sleep in no time. In the back of the mind, Emma figured if she'd unknowingly saved the galaxy twice, what was the harm in literally sleeping with Saren as well?

He was different with her than she had expected. But in a good way. The fact that he could be this affectionate, knowing fully what she'd have done had he not mysteriously escaped, blew her mind. Emma would never have been able to forgive someone who tried to kill her. Although Saren himself tried that, it was, at the same time, not him.

Regardless of this fact, she was enjoying his company, and knew that when it came time to leave, Saren would likely revert to his typical behavior of being rude, and she believed he might even start refusing to see any of the others until he could leave the room for good. She made herself promise that whatever happened to her, she would at the very least attempt to stay in touch with him. She owed him that much.


	14. Chapter 14

Emma rolled over on her stomach, the stabbing pain at her side driving her crazy. It stopped for a minute, but then she felt something else. There was a hand, very familiar and warm, on the back of her head. She woke up a little from her dream, and opened her eyes.

"Are you alright, Emma?" Saren asked quietly. The room was dark, and the shades on the windows had been pulled down, so felt even darker. She was still in his lousy excuse of an apartment, but it felt like home.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She sat up next to him, gently taking his hand off her head, holding it instead.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, why?"

"You were talking a little bit." He said, causing her to suddenly become more aware of what he was saying, and of her surroundings. Nothing had moved, from what she could remember, but something did feel... Off. Emma looked back up to Saren.

"What was I saying?"

"You kept mentioning a sibling, or a parent. I couldn't really tell."

"Did I say a name?"

"I think it was Kevin."

Without any warning to Saren, Emma quickly got up from the bed, and headed to the only place she could be alone without absolutely leaving. She locked herself in the bathroom, and tried to be as quiet as possible as she began sobbing from the name she'd heard. Even with the knocking on the door, and Saren repeatedly asking her what was wrong, she couldn't speak, or move. That only scared her more, because she felt like she couldn't talk to anyone about this. After a few minutes, Saren seemed to back off and just let her deal with it, because it was suddenly quiet, and she could think.

Emma crawled out what felt like an hour later. She moved quickly the the couch, and curled up facing the back of it. Not two seconds later did she feel herself being lifted up into a hug.

"Please let me be alone a few more minutes." She mumbled, not feeling like she had enough energy to get herself out of his arms. He nodded, and put her back down, walking away.

She did stay there for several more minutes, but she was wondering if she should stay or not. Things obviously weren't going to get much better, especially if he started asking about it, but she also didn't want him to feel like it was his fault this had happened. The conflict wasn't helping her make up her mind, and she supposed if she hadn't left already, she didn't want to. So, she sat up slowly and looked around for Saren. He was laying on the bed, again, on his back this time. Seeing that his eyes were closed, she got up as quiet as possible, and then made no sound before she slid next to him, and wrapped both of her arms around him.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked quietly, already nuzzling her affectionately.

"Yeah... I don't really want to talk about what happened, though." She returned the nuzzling, then resting her head on his chest.

"That's fine. You can tell me when you're ready."

They kept silent for a while longer, and Emma felt like she was ready to sleep again. But when there was a knock at the door, Saren moved, telling her to stay. She took the opportunity to pull the blanket over herself, and watched the door. It was the doctors that had been there before. Saren let them in, apparently forgetting to mention she was there, because once one of the doctors saw her, they began to move towards her to get her out. He put himself between her and the doctors, growling.

"I'm not doing any of the tests unless she's allowed to stay where she is."

"I don't think you understand the position you're in, Mr. Arterius-"

"I understand the position perfectly. It's illegal to do any sort of testing without the consent of the patient, or a family member. And seeing as I have no family members, you're going to have to wait on me. So either you let her stay, or you aren't going to get paid today." Saren growled, staring down both of them until they took a few steps back. When they did, he relaxed as though nothing had happened, and turned back to her. "Just stay here, it won't be long."

"I'm not going to move." She said quietly, pulling the blanket over herself more as she watched him walk to the couch, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt and revealing a few visible needle tracks from where she was. Emma couldn't say that she was really surprised, though. The man had lived alone on Omega for a few years, and was bound to succumb to guilt. Regardless, she kept quiet, and listened to some of the things they were asking him.

"Have you noticed yourself feeling or acting more violent than usual?"

"Only just now, otherwise no."

"Can you think of a reason you acted the way you did just now?"

"You were threatening to take away some of my peace of mind, and I was able to have a chance to keep it." Saren responded quickly, eyeing the doctor as the first vial of blood was taken, and a second was then beginning to fill.

"Alright. Have you had any hallucinations since last time?"

"No."

"That's good. I expect by our next visit you won't be staying here much longer."

"How much blood are you taking? I thought you were only going to take two." Saren said, as a third was being put in place.

"The Council wanted a third to verify the results this time. So this is the last one." The other doctor responded, already beginning to pack up, taking the vial quickly, so the other doctor could remove the needle, and cover the hole in his arm. The stench of the alcohol was something that Emma had never found to be pleasant, but it soon went away. Once the doctors left, Saren stood up and walked back over to the bed, sitting next to her.

"'Peace of mind', hm?" She smiled. He shook his head.

"I feel a lot calmer around you. Last time I was a little more rude to them."

"You don't like doctors?"

"Not usually. I've met a few who I can trust with all the details of my life, and I don't like going to anyone else if I can help it." He looked at her and then smiled. "Are you cold?"

"A little bit." She smiled back, pulling the blanket up to her chin. He chuckled and got under the blanket as well, pulling her so close to him that she could feel the silent purr in his chest. Her mind was blank, and Emma surprised herself when she pushed the turian on his back and pressed her mouth to his. In a moment, she felt Saren gently pushing her away, and she was confused, staring at him. She couldn't think of anything other than how guilty she felt now.


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Note: Wow! I can't believe there are over 1,000 views on this story! Thank you so much to those of you who have followed this story, and who have posted reviews. It makes me so happy to think that there is something that I'm good at and that I can share with everyone shamelessly. I'm trying to put up a chapter every week, and when I have extra time, I'll be putting up more than one. This weekend I had a lot of time to kill, so that's why I have this huge update. I'm also trying to keep one chapter ahead, just in case I find that I don't have enough time to write. Again, thank you so much!_

* * *

"Emma..."

"I'm sorry." She tried to move to get off him, but he held her firmly where she was. She began to feel panicked, and this was the only time her heart would race around Saren. He was stronger than her, and she grew fearful of what would happen. Only at this particular moment did she realize how little she knew about him. She could only predict what he would do, but she didn't really ever know.

"You don't need to be scared, I wouldn't dream of hurting you." He said, sitting up. "I'm just a little confused."

"About what?" She asked, trying not to look at him, and get rid of the burning blush on her face. This was far more embarrassing than anything she could remember, even from her childhood.

"Didn't you say you were leaving?"

"I did..." She was forced to look at him when her pushed her jaw, forcing her head to move so she would look at him.

"In my experience, it's best not to start anything you can't promise to stay loyal to if you're planning on leaving soon. Even if it's only going to be for a short time."

"What, do you want me to leave?"

"No, I don't." He paused and dropped his hands from her. "I just want to know why you did what you did."

She put a lot of thought into the matter, but sighed in the end, shrugging her shoulders. There was no verbal response, but it seemed to do for him. Emma moved silently to go put her boots back on, shaking a bit. She could hear Saren whine quietly at her leaving, and it took a great deal of effort to walk away. She wasn't comfortable. She thought she could take a little break and have some time to herself, then she would walk back there. By the time she thought about it again it was nearly 2100. She'd only have another day on the Citadel. She felt a pain, like a kick to her gut that left her gasping for air in a moments' notice. When she was able to stand up straight again, she went to her room, grabbed a few things, and then left her apartment.

With one last attempt, Emma knocked on the door, and was growing worried. She'd thought about using the intercom, but then that would ruin the surprise. When the door didn't open, she huffed and pulled out her omni-tool. Even if she was dressed in her pajamas, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen right now.

Sender: Emma  
Message: Open the fucking door.

A few minutes later she got a response.

Sender: Saren  
Message: What?

Sender: Emma  
Message: Do you want to see me or not? Open the fucking door.

And in the next minute the door was unlocked, but it wasn't opening. She opened it herself, and saw that she was walking into a pitch black room. Her stomach churned but she stopped it by taking a quiet breath as she stepped in and closed the door behind her. She dropped the small bag at her feet and, with careful listening, made her way over to Saren. He was laying down, and she knowingly crawled over him, sitting on his hips.

"Emma-"

"Shh." She put her hand over his mouth, making out the lines of his face as she adjusted to the dark. She could catch the glint of his eyes and she held them with her own. When she felt him relax she removed hand from his mouth, and leaned forward to touch her forehead to his. It was something she'd learned about turians. It was a sign of trust, as well as affection. For her, it had become a way of apologizing silently. This was Saren's first experience with her apologizing in such a manner, but from the way he reacted to it, Emma felt that he had an instinct that told him what she meant by it.

Without another word, he'd wrapped both arms around her in a hug, and had pulled her under the blanket with himself. She was wrapped around him, her toes curling with happiness at the warmth and tranquility he was bringing. Even if she wanted to talk to him, she knew that there wasn't a thing that could be said right now. It would have to wait a while longer. For the moment, she fell asleep, and wouldn't mind seeing him next to her in the morning.

_The next day..._

Her nose was cold while the rest of her was blissfully warm and protected by Saren's arms when she woke up. It took her a minute to recall where she was, but when she stretched out her arms and legs, she remembered, and also became aware of how tangled she was with Saren. Both legs were wrapped around one of his, her arms had to be pulled out from underneath him, and she also had to unhook one of her knees from his hip. She was no doubt on top of him, but she doubted her weight was much for him to worry about. She had a blurry memory of kissing him goodnight before she fell asleep, and she couldn't very well ask him at the moment; Saren was still asleep.

Emma turned to pull the blanket up over her shoulders again, when she felt one of his hands on the small of her back, one of his fingers innocently tucked under her shirt. She settled back in, her face in his neck and her arms wrapped around him. The blanket was up to her chin and she could smell Saren all over it. In the back of her mind, she thought that maybe because she'd spent so much time with turians, her own sense of smell had become more acute. Regardless, there was a subtle sigh released from her mouth, and she could feel his arms tighten around her once more. Her eyes closed as she decided to sleep in a little longer, before she was nudged awake.

"What?" She groaned, lifting her head.

"I didn't want you to oversleep." Saren purred, nuzzling her forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm." Emma smiled and clung to him more when he tried to move. She was pried off easily, and made to sit on his lap with her back to his front. Still tired, she got comfortable and rested her head on his collar, closing her eyes again.

"Hey, no more sleeping." He chuckled, gently poking her side, with caused her to jerk, and giggle.

"Don't do that!" She gently shoved him, and then crawled away from him. At least until he grabbed her foot, pulling it back gently and causing her to fall on her face on the bed. She laid there for a moment, and then lifted her head, brushing her hair from her face before she looked back at him.

"What?" He kept a rather straight face, though his tone betrayed him. Emma smirked, and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, turning to face him. When he repeated himself, she lunged at him, tackling him onto the floor. His head hit the floor the same time his shoulder did, and there was a loud pop.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" She quickly sat on the floor next to him, her hands reaching for his head, first. He grunted and nodded. "I'm so sorry..." She kept muttering, petting him until he sat up.

"I'll be fine. I just need to put my shoulder back in place." His hand went to the opposite shoulder, and she was determined to avoid touching him any further. Unless he needed help, of course. It took about fifteen minutes, but eventually he got his shoulder back in place, and Emma didn't have to see it. She hugged him tightly once he was no longer injured, and apologized again.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know. But what the hell were you doing?" Saren asked, amused and returning the hug.

"I was going to get you back for making me fall on my face."

"Well you got me back alright." He chuckled and then nuzzled her some more, running his hand through her hair as well. She smiled and leaned against him, but then her stomach decided to interrupt and make a loud noise. Saren looked down at her.

"I'm a little hungry." She said with a half-smile.

"I don't know if there's anything here you can eat..." He sighed. Suddenly she perked up, and nudged him.

"I'm sure we can find something." She then pulled him towards the kitchen.

"Wait, you said you got tested a while ago..." Saren then said, putting two and two together. "When did you find out?"

"I found out later that week, but I'd forgotten to tell you." She shrugged. "So, what do you have?"

"Sit on the couch and I'll bring you something in a minute." He said, shoving her out of the kitchen with a grin.


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Note: I've decided I'm going to start making the chapters longer after this one, so I can focus more on certain aspects. The speed is also about to pick up, and there are some strange things that will be happening. Enjoy!_

* * *

As Emma looked down at what was on the plate, she couldn't say that it was very appealing to her. But when she smelled it, her body said something just the opposite, and she took a tentative first bite. There was definitely the texture of a well-done meat, very tender and juicy, but it was bright red. She'd specifically asked Saren not to tell her what it was she was eating until she'd settled into how it tasted. The first bite was proof enough that she could indeed digest dextro-based foods, although the nutrition might not be what she needed. After she smiled, Saren proceeded to eat what was on his plate, both silent for the most part. Half way through her meal, Emma had to take a minute to rest. It was good, but it was also filling. She did have a smaller stomach than Saren. Although, he had taken account of that, and had given her a noticeably smaller portion.

"Did you decide you've had enough?" He asked between bites. She'd always been curious to know how male turians managed to keep food from falling out of the sides of their mouths. At the moment, she could safely answer her own question. His mandibles were folded up over the sides of his mouth while he ate, and they dropped when he would swallow.

"No, I'm just letting it settle so I don't eat more than my body can handle." She smiled, and let him continue to eat. It was around noon and she still hadn't changed her clothes. They were sitting in the bag she'd brought, which was still slumped over on the floor right next to the door. When her stomach began to feel empty again, she resumed eating, wondering if he would mind if she took a shower while she was here. Her plate was empty not too long after she'd decided how to ask Saren. He'd finished about the same time, and didn't bother to take the plates anywhere. Instead he leaned back into the couch more, smiling a little bit.

"Hey, Saren?" She nudged his leg.

"Hm?"

"Do you mind if I go take a quick shower?"

"Go ahead, I can deal with silence for a few minutes." He shrugged and folded his hands over his abdomen. She smirked, leaning over to quickly peck his cheek, or the area she thought to be a cheek on a turian, then turning to grab her bag and go into the bathroom. This time, she only locked the door to ensure she would be alone.

Emma couldn't even think about being so exposed in front of Saren. Even when she glanced in the mirror while she was waiting for the water to warm up. She stood there and let her gently glossed pink mails run over the scar on her abdomen. Looking down at it for what seemed like an hour, she finally pulled her hair from her face, and stepped into the shower. She closed her eyes when her head hit the water, and she could feel the oil on the surface of her face being washed away. When the soap was lathered against her skin she felt a chill at her back but didn't turn around. The suds washed away, tickling the skin on her legs and feet as it made its way down. It was soothing to her, because she could feel her burdens being lifted away from her body.

A few minutes later she turned off the water, and wrung out her hair before she stepped out. Luckily, she'd found a towel in a cabinet and started to dry herself off. The chill at her back went away when she pulled the shirt over her head. She took a minute to look over the most recent scar she'd gotten on her leg, being gentle as she ran her fingers over the long scar from a claw. Emma covered up the scar moments later. Her hands moved quickly to find her tiny pouch, when she noticed her hands were shaking. Finding her medicine, she injected the insulin into her abdomen, cursing at herself for not having any real food. The medicine was back in the pouch, and she made sure to sit down for a couple of minutes before moving again. She then stood up to comb through her hair, and clean up the small mess she'd made before she walked out, placing her bag down on the tiled floor by the door once again. She looked up, and for Saren.

He was laying on the bed again, face down in the pillow.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" She walked over towards him, sitting down beside him. When he didn't move she nudged him, and was glad that he turned his head to the side. His eye opened and shot straight to her own eyes. She struggled to open her mouth and speak again. Saren's eye looked like a cat that was ready to jump on its prey. When she managed to repeat her question he then closed his eye and sighed.

"I remembered that you said you have to leave tomorrow."

"Yeah..." She reached over and gently stroked over his jaw. "What about it?"

"I don't want you to go..."

Emma could only nod, continuing to stroke over his jaw while she thought on it. She was trying to think of some way that she could stay, but leave when she needed to. Fortunately she didn't need to think very hard on what to do. When she laid down next to him, he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist to keep her from falling off. He moved to the other side a little more and kept her just as close. Her arms found their way around his neck soon after.

"I'll tell you what I can do," Emma started quietly, "I can stay until you fall asleep. That way you won't have to watch me leave."

"So you'll put me to sleep and then walk away?"

"I'm going to help you fall asleep comfortably and then I'm going to go back home, pack my things, and go see what the Alliance wants from me. And I promise I'll call you first thing when I wake up, and whenever I have the time once I'm back on Earth."

"I can deal with that I suppose." Saren sighed into her ear. She smiled and nudged him affectionately.

"Promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll talk to some of the others while they're still here." She had pulled away enough to look him in the eye, feeling the purr in his chest die a little bit when she spoke. Sure, she knew he wouldn't be so happy having to deal with others who didn't quite trust him, but he was almost ready to be released. Part of her wondered if he would be able to rejoin the Spectres, or if he would rather go back to living quietly, like he had on Omega.

"I'll try, but I can't really promise anything."

"That's something." She grinned, then pressing her forehead to his, closing her eyes to enjoy the moment while she could.

Saren fell asleep not too long after, and Emma briefly thought about leaving. She shifted just slightly, and felt the pressure on her hips increase as his arm pulled her closer. Because she was sitting up, she sighed and leaned back, petting his fringe and humming in happiness at the rumble that was growing in his chest. He wasn't a monster to her anymore. Saren was just a broken man who she'd helped to heal, and get back on his feet again. And for that, she cared about him more than anyone else ever would. Emma would be there to help take responsibility for whatever he might do in the future, good or bad. There wasn't a single thing she could think of that she wouldn't be proud to stand behind Saren and say that she gave him the idea to do it. In truth, she believed that was what it might come down to; he wouldn't be blowing things up anymore. Not unless it was for the good of the galaxy at least.

She watched him sleep and it reminded her of a kitten. He wasn't necessarily curled up around her; however, he was relaxed, purring, warm, and especially cute. With a giggle she woke him up and swore not to ever mention those thoughts to anyone for as long as she was breathing. He was quiet when he removed his arms from around her, but he bravely pulled her down to lay on top of him, giving her the best kiss he could manage.

"What's that for?" She asked, only after catching her breath several minutes later, going back for another before he could answer her question. Emma wondered how he knew what to do, just how and when she wanted it. She felt like asking, but then she might be let down, so she decided to just keep quiet.

"I really... Care about you. I just want to make sure you know that before you leave."

"Well thank you." She grinned and felt the pain in her cheeks not moments later. Her hand began to pet his fringe again, and while she watched him close his eyes with a happy purr, she shivered as a talon very gently ran down her neck to her back. Emma could feel him chuckle beneath her and she sighed, settling her head into his neck.

Without all the armor on his body, Saren was far less angular than she'd imagined. He was smooth, of course with sharper turns than a human, but no less comfortable to lay on. The curve of his chest didn't feel as pronounced as it looked, and when she laid on her stomach, her back seemed to relax, despite the angle it was being put at. It had taken until now to notice, but some of the metal rods in Saren's jaw had been removed. She quickly became curious to know why they were there in the first place.

"They help me look mean." Saren smirked, answering her question after she'd asked it aloud. "They were also to help me regain some function of my mandibles, and seeing as I no longer need all of them, I decided to have a few taken out." Emma's fingers ran over his jaw, humming at the small scars that would be left behind.

"Why did you decide to do it, really?" She then pressed, pausing and looking him in the eye. He thought for a bit on that.

"I just didn't see any reason, really. I don't plan on doing what I'd been doing before."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't really know if I feel like being a Spectre anymore. I just don't feel the same as I used to, I guess." He looked pained to say what he did, in Emma's eyes. She could only think to continue petting him, and he closed his eyes again. "I feel like I don't know which way is up anymore."

"I know how you feel. I felt that same way when I woke up in a Cerberus facility that was being attacked by its own people. Even more when I found myself agreeing to work with them."

"But what if you hadn't worked with them?"

"I wouldn't be here right now. So I say to myself, even if at the time it looked bad, it looks a hell of a lot better in hindsight." She smiled and let him roll over. on his back to stare at the ceiling. He was quiet for a while longer, so she took the opportunity to speak to him some more. "You know, you can always say no to people. They might not like it, but you can definitely do it if you think it's what's best."

"What would I do if I didn't rejoin the Spectres, though?"

"Maybe you should talk to Garrus about that. He had a similar problem when he left C-Sec and they offered him his job back."

"You think that would help?"

"I know it will help you think about other options. Maybe you should even ask what he's planning on doing now." In truth, Emma was avoiding the question. But, she was also handing off the question to someone who would be of better mind to help. She wasn't the same race as Saren, and so she didn't know of any customs involving leaving a job, or returning to one. All she knew was that if she were in his exact position, she would most likely be asking the same questions of anyone else. With a small smile, Saren nodded at what she'd said.

"If you want to leave now, I won't mind at all, you know."

"Are you going to be okay on your own?" She asked, already sitting up.

"I can manage on my own, Emma."

"Don't be a stranger." She said, giving him a kiss on his forehead before she got up to leave, realizing that she'd have to find something to do for a few hours until she had to leave. She walked back towards her apartment and there were a few people that were giving her looks before of her bag, and her clothes in particular. If anyone cared that much they'd have asked, so she kept walking as though nothing were happening. And nothing was happening. Not yet.


	17. Chapter 17

"Please remember to take all your items with you when you exit. Thank you." The automated voice said as the shuttle landed in Vancouver. Emma looked out the window and was glad to be on a planet again. There was wind, real sunlight, and the sky was absolutely gorgeous compared to that crap on the Citadel. Nothing would ever be able to replace the beauty she'd come to appreciate from Earth. And the moment she stepped off the shuttle, she was greeted by a pair of Alliance officers, and one man she'd grown close to over the years.

"Hello, Emma. It's good to see you again." David said, extending his hand towards her. She took it, unsure of what to say. "I'm not here on business. Not really, anyway. You can call me by my name."

"Thanks, Anderson." She said, playing it on the safe side for now. They'd begun walking, the two soldier following behind them with guns being carried lazily in their arms. She wasn't sure what Anderson was doing here if he was a councilor. They never seemed to leave the Citadel. Before she could open her mouth to ask he was talking.

"I'm thinking about leaving the Council. It's not exactly what I thought it would be. I'm not meant for political talk, and all that crap."

"What will you do?"

"I'm thinking about asking the Alliance if they'll have me back." He smiled. "I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask even though we both know the answer to that."

"And what do you think they'll do with me?" She asked quietly, not necessarily afraid of the soldiers hearing, but out of fear for her future.

"I can say safely that they'll keep you alive." He said, offering a smile to her. "Other than that, I have no idea. But I'll help you however I can, you have my word."

"It's always nice to have someone watching over me, even if I don't think I'll need it." She smiled, letting him talk to her about what was going on lately, and where she could stay while she was there. Emma was only half-listening. The other half was busy thinking about if her mom was there or not.

"Emma?" David cut into her thoughts once they were inside.

"Sorry, what?"

"Do you have anywhere to stay while you're here?"

"Uh, no." She sighed, looking around. The inside really made the place look smaller than it really was. It was a shame they couldn't have made better use of the space. She followed David to the temporary housing that was always available, and went through the make sure she had some place to stay where she could be alone if she wanted it. When that was done, she thanked him and went inside. The soldiers followed David, and she was alone again.

The first thing she did was sent a short message to her mom, asking if she was around. It didn't take long to get a reply, which made her smile because her mom was around. She felt tired, but knew that if she could make it until dinner, then she would be fine the next day. The time difference from the Citadel had been horrible for her to adjust to, and now she had to adjust again for Earth's time. Her mom told her she would visit in an hour and then take her to dinner, so in that time that she had, Emma began to unpack some of her things, and then she went to clean herself in the shower. There was a message waiting on her omni-tool when she got out.

Sender: Saren  
Message: How was the trip?

Sender: Emma  
Message: The trip was alright. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep after I get home from dinner with my mom.

Sender: Saren  
Message: Alright. I only have to stay for three more days, and then the Councilors said they would let me go.

Sender: Emma  
Message: That's great! Do you know what you're going to do yet?

Sender: Saren  
Message: No.

Emma frowned, and then shrugged. It wasn't her place to tell him that he should rejoin. Of course she might say that to him, be she really couldn't hold any influence over him if she tried. Her mind quickly changed subject when she heard a knock on the door, and she quickly moved to pull a shirt on, looking to see who it was.

"Hi sweetheart!" Emma's mother chimed, as she was hiding behind the door.

"Hi mom. Do you think you could give me a minute to change-"

"Nonsense." Her mother pushed herself in the room and Emma quickly wrapped the towel around her legs, grabbing a few things from her bag and shutting the door.

"Mom!"

"What? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Yeah, when I was a baby!"

"Oh calm down, Emma. I'll stay out here and you can change in there." Her mother sat down on the bed, pulling up her omni-tool.

She slunk into the bathroom and quickly pulled on a skirt, since that was the first thing she'd grabbed. She swore silently, especially when her hip hit the counter and she stumbled onto the floor. She sat for a minute, trying to figure out what had caused her to do that. She looked around but found her vision was fading. Like a child she called for her mother, laying on the floor to keep the room from spinning much faster. Emma's vision began to fad soon after she heard the door slam against the wall.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" She could hear barely over the ringing in her ears. She couldn't bring herself to answer, because soon she fell asleep. Or at least it felt like she did. She woke up only a few moments later, but it was dark outside now, and she was laying in bed. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned her head slowly to see her mother sitting down with a smile.

"Mom..."

"It's alright, you've only been asleep for a couple of hours. How are you feeling?"

"I'm hungry." She muttered, closing her eyes. The hand on her forehead was very warm, and it felt good. But it left her and she whined a bit.

"What do you want to eat, I'll go get it for you."

"I don't care." She reached for the blanket. She was more tired now than she'd been before, and she wanted to do nothing but sleep. But suddenly she found herself sitting up, staring at her omni-tool. She was trying to read a single message but she couldn't. She threw down her omni-tool and then curled up under the blanket. She must have stayed still for a long time, because before she knew it, her mother was back with something that smelled good enough to wake her up.

"Come on, sit up. I'm staying with you tonight just to make sure you're okay." Emma's mother said. She saw the open omni-tool and grabbed for it without asking, as mothers do. Emma was slow to notice, too engrossed in her meal that consisted of pancakes and eggs. "Emma, how come I don't see any messages from Garrus on here?"

"Mom, give me that right now!" she yelled, throwing her arm out to try and grab it in vain. She was rewarded with a loss of balance, and the plate flipping onto the bed.

"Well somebody's awake now." She grinned.

"Mom! That's not yours!"

"Well you left it out..."

"Give it to me or I'm not giving you any grandkids!" Emma threatened.

"Oh, that's hardly anything to say. If you're going to be with Garrus I shouldn't expect any."

"I'm not with him anymore mom, now give it back." Emma whined, too tired to move. She laid down pathetically, like a kid who didn't want to go to bed. Only she had the opposite problem. But when she looked up, her mother was far past amused. She was hurt. "Mom..." The omni-tool hit the bed and her mother turned to the bathroom, sitting in silence for the most part. Emma could only think to eat so she would have some energy to get up. A few minutes later she shuffled over to the bathroom door.

"Why didn't you tell me anything, Emma? You always tell me everything."

"I wasn't... thinking. I needed time to pull myself together before I told you, and then all these things started happening so fast. I just never had time to." Emma sat beside her mother on the edge of the bathtub. "It wasn't anything bad. We just weren't working out like we wanted."

"Like how it was with Walter when you were in school, hm?" The sympathetic motherly tone had returned, and the daughter felt the arm wrap around her shoulders. Emma nodded and began crying as soon as she heard the name. She curled up in her mother's arms, both walking to the bed so that they could sleep.

She was glad her mother was staying the night. There was so much she needed to say that no one else would understand. They hadn't ever talked about what happened with Walter after Emma had broken the news.

When she was seventeen years old, her last year of high school coming up, Emma had found a boy, and man really, who had opened her up to new ideas that had truly shaped her into who she was known as today. But back then she struggled to speak up, and especially she struggled in her classes on Arcturus. Walter had apparently been watching her for some time, starting the year before when they'd been in the same classes. After the last class of the day, he'd walked up to Emma as she was putting her things in her bag, and offered to walk her home. The first few days of this, they didn't talk much, other than asking the basics. What was their name, who were their parents, and where did they live. He was kind to her, letting her open up when she was ready, and he'd helped her feel more comfortable around some of his own friends.

Emma always thought she was lucky that Walter and his friends were the type to have wholesome fun, while still rebelling a bit. They'd often sneak off to go see a movie, or hang out later than they'd said, but never had she felt pressured like some of the other classmates did, who later dropped out with each passing month. She'd become reasonably social, and well-known by the end of that year. And she'd also grown close to Walter. He'd spent more than a few dinners at her apartment with each of her parents, and neither had any complaint other than "he seems too nice for you". As per tradition, he'd asked her to the senior dance weeks before it would occur, and they'd made plans for the whole night. She'd admitted to him that same week that she loved him. The smile on his face told her she'd found someone who would look after her long after that moment in time.

At the dance, she wasn't disappointed that she couldn't have a royalty dance with her new boyfriend. But he was dancing with one of her closest friends who had encouraged her to say anything at all, so Emma could bear watching and enjoying. She thought she would head home afterwards. But Walter had convinced her to stay with him that night, without saying anything to her parents. His were staying with his uncle, and so they had the whole apartment to themselves. He didn't need to say anything, because Emma knew why he'd asked. She wanted him as well. And he'd made love to her gently, treating her how she'd only dreamed of being treated. She didn't regret allowing herself to break her own rules for one night, because they'd been more than responsible about it. Nothing changed between them except for the fondness and affection that grew because of them being so intimate.

Emma was surprised when she told her mother the next morning and she was smiling and calm about it. No argument, or talking-to happened. Life just went on. Of course, her father never found out about it, but it was a secret best kept between a mother and a daughter. A few weeks later graduation rolled around, and there was a huge party for just Emma and Walter. It was perfect for them and it wasn't even like there were two families. It felt like one family celebrating, and she loved the idea of having such a large family. She wanted to walk him home afterwards, and they were alone on the way. He'd tucked her away in his room once more, sneaking her out before midnight with a grin. She'd tried to hide from her mother's questions, but eventually it came out. There was no more school, and every day Walter would stop by to visit Emma. By now, both her parents were away on tours, but she was an adult, and fully capable of living on her own for a few months.

He was on his way out, midday. She was just on the inside of the door to her apartment, grinning and tapping her foot on the floor, not wanting to let him go yet. He stood in the hall, and pulled her close for one more kiss before he would walk away. Her hair was long, then: nearly down the full length of her back. His hand gently glided through it as he always did before leaving, and she sighed quietly, looking him in the eye. Somewhere down the hall, a man was screaming. Without a thought, she pulled Walter back inside, hiding in the safest place that she knew of. They sat in silence as they heard the front door open, cowering under her parents' bed. She felt the hot tears rush down her face as the intruder began tearing apart her home, screaming her name. Walter moved and she gripped him tightly, trying to stop him. But he ripped his arm away and she could only watch two pairs of feet struggle. Walter's disappeared as the bed caved with his weight.

_"Tell me where she is!"_ The intruder yelled.

_"She's not here!"_

_"Why are you here, then? Hoping to catch her by surprise and ride her all night?"_

_"Go to hell."_

Emma struggled to keep her sobs quiet, and to keep herself still until the other man left. Once she was sure he was gone she ran to lock the door, and then went to see Walter. He was on his back, hands stained in a dark red liquid that took a few moments for her to register as blood from the stab wound. She'd called for the police, and was told to stay with him and help him out. She didn't know what to do, but he did. He lifted his hands and beckoned for her. She sat on the bed sobbing harder than ever, clutching to him as he laid with his head in her lap. He tried to calm her, crying himself.

_"Emma, you have to promise me something."_

_"What?"_

_"I want you to name him Kevin."_

_"What are you talking about, Walter?"_

_"Name him Kevin. Please."_

_"Okay... Okay I promise."_

She had no clue what he'd said to her. A minute later, just one too late, the police and paramedics arrived. His eyes were still open and she couldn't be moved from the spot. Her arms were covered in his blood and she felt lonelier than she'd ever felt before. Her parents were contacted, and Emma was moved to stay with her neighbors until they could come home. The neighbors knew better than to pry into Emma's life, but they did encourage her to eat. All she would do was sit and stare at her arms which had since been washed of what she believed to be the last mark he would ever have on her.

The week of the funeral she'd begun to remove herself for another matter entirely. She said nothing to her mother until it was too late for anything to be done except proceed with it. Somehow in his last moments, Walter had known that she would become pregnant. She tried remembering if he'd used protection but she could only remember gripping his arm and having him leave her. But he left her to protect her. She told Walter's parents and they were eager to help her out. But she wanted nothing to do with them, only to tell them that if she decided she didn't want the baby, they would be first in line to decide where it would go. She felt like she owed them that much. And sure enough, when the child was born, it was a boy, with Walter's eyes and Emma's hair. She didn't even get to hold him before there were complications and he was taken away from her.

It took Emma a long time before she could accept the fate that was given to her. She'd later joined the Alliance to help herself move on. And only thirteen years later, she was still crying over the ordeal. Her mother understood everything now. Emma had shared this story with Garrus, and now she was faced with the fear of whether or not she could deal with telling it one more time to Saren. If she ever saw him again, that was.

"Get some sleep, sweetheart. You have a long day ahead of you." Her mother began soothing her to sleep. Emma had turned into a child again, sniffling into sleep with her head on her mother's chest, and curled up in the safety of her mother's embrace.


	18. Chapter 18

"Commander Shepard, your hearing will begin in five minutes." A man came in, standing tall in front of her. She stood up and smoothed out her uniform, walking to wait by the door into the chamber. In exactly five minutes, the door unlocked, and she walked inside, followed by her mother and Anderson. The two were there for support, as well as to provide evidence that she had not abandoned the Alliance. Emma stood in front of the Alliance Council alone. They listed of accusations made against her, and offered her a chance to prove she had not done any of the things they claimed.

"I never abandoned the Alliance. I was simply working alongside someone else while I waited for my reinstatement to be confirmed." Emma said confidently. "Not to mention I saved all of humanity while I was waiting."

"That will be all, Commander." One of the men said. "What do these two have to say on your behalf?" Eyes turned to Emma's mother and Anderson. Her mother stepped forward first.

"My daughter has never been known to turn her back on anyone. Why would she suddenly change that behavior? What have you done to her that might cause her to become so unhappy that she would even think of leaving?" Her mother was't making a very convincing case for her daughter, and Emma sighed quietly as her hand was brought to her forehead to rub at it. After another minute of listening to her mother ramble on, Emma watched her step back, as Anderson was then called forward.

"Commander Shepard is one of the best soldiers I've met in my lifetime," Anderson began, standing tall and unafraid. She smiled, because she remembered he'd had to face the council several times on his own, and had been among them. He knew what he was doing. "I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't think it would be a mistake to discharge her from her service. If the Commander had ever felt like leaving the Alliance, she wouldn't have ran off to the shadows and left. No, the Commander would surely come straight to all of you and stated her intentions because she shoots how she thinks. And we all know how well the Commander can shoot." His posture, if at all possible, grew even more erect, and he grew another foot taller. "I would be more than happy to discuss possible options for the Commander, if you can accept that she did not abandon the Alliance." There was silence for a moment while the Alliance Council talked over it. He'd walked back to place a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder while she clasped her mother's hand.

"Commander Shepard." The woman began speaking, "This council accepts that you did not abandon the Alliance. However, there are still other minor offenses that we will need to look over. We would ask that you please stay here for another four days until we have gone over all the offenses and have agreed upon reasonable action. Captain Anderson, if you would please stay to discuss these matters further. Commander, you may leave."

* * *

"Emma, open the door." Her mother called a few mornings later.

"I'll be there in a minute, let me get dressed." She called out from the bathroom, one leg in her pants, and a hand holding up her hair as she pinned it up. She got her other leg through her pants and readjusted her shirt as she opened the door, going to put her boots on.

"Where are you off to so soon?" She asked, standing in the door.

"I met up with a few friends yesterday and we were going to have breakfast. You remember Diane, right?"

"Diane? I thought she'd moved to one of the colonies?"

"She moved here, I guess. I didn't get much time to catch up with her, but you can come along if you want." She said as she stood up. Her arm lit up as she got a call on her omni-tool. Looking down she could feel the color rush away from her face as she answered it. "Hello?"

"Emma, you have a hearing at 3 this afternoon. I want to meet up with you around 1 so we can talk about it." Anderson said.

"I can do that." She sighed, and feeling her stomach tighten and churn. She heard the click of the call ending, and she lowered her arm. She met her mother's gaze. "Today's going to be a long day."

* * *

"How are you feeling?" He asked right before they walked into the room.

"I feel like actually running away." She smiled, trying to ease her nerves before she listened to the final verdict of what would happen to her. She'd talked with Saren earlier, and he'd gotten word that he would be released tomorrow. She hoped she could be there by the end of the week to see him again, but there was something in the back of her mind that told her she wouldn't be seeing him for a long time.

* * *

"Confinement won't be so bad."

"It wouldn't be so bad if they'd let me out at least once a day." She grumbled as she hauled her bag onto her shoulder, ready to move to the designated room. Her mother was beside her with another bag as well.

"At least you still hold a title." Her mother offered a smile. Emma could only roll her eyes. This was no time to be trying to make light of a situation, because she knew it was now only a matter of time until everyone saw that she hadn't been lying, or slowly turning into a lunatic. She'd have to start thinking of what to say to them. On the way to the other side of the building, which seemed miles away, Emma opened up her omni-tool.

There were a few messages from some old friends asking when she was coming back to the Citadel. She'd forgotten to keep in touch with anyone, seeing as she'd been too emotionally invested in what was happening now. Of course, that was nothing compared to the twenty-something messages from both Garrus and Saren. There was actually one that said it was from both of them, which Emma was amazed was even a thing. She thought she'd read them later, once it was scanned for hazardous information or programs. She thought it was ridiculous, given how much time she'd spent here already, but she tossed it over at the security checkpoint.

"Mom, why don't you just give me my own stuff?" Emma turned back once she got her omni-tool back. "I can take care of myself."

"I'm starting to think differently."

"Give me my bag." She snapped quickly, glaring as well. Taken aback, her mother extended her arm with the bag, standing still and watching her daughter stalk off to the room she would be living in for the foreseeable future.

It was a tiny room. A bed, a desk, a window that overlooked a backyard of one of the apartments, and a decent view of the metropolis. And of course a door in the corner of the room to the sorry excuse of a bathroom. She didn't bother to try and make it more comfortable when she heard the door shut behind her. Though, to her delight, she saw an audio system sitting near the bed. She placed her bag down on the bed, and dug through to find where she'd placed some of her personal items. Her omni-tool received a message, and and she glanced over at it.

Sender: Saren  
Message: How are you doing today? We haven't talked for a while, it feels like.

Emma sighed heavily and picked her tool up, looking over the message. Looking around the room, she decided to prop it up on the desk and call him instead. Her breath hitched a bit when the call finally connected and she could see his face. He wasn't in that room anymore, and the light he was in looked good on him. She glanced out the window for a moment and felt it sink a little.

"Hello." He said first, rather calm.

"Hi." She said halfheartedly, still looking out the window. It was only day one.

"Are you alright?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"Everything." She finally looked back at the small screen in front of her, feeling the tightness in her chest again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to say 'fuck you' to just about everyone and get out of here, but I'm really in no position to do that." He chuckled at her response and she tilted her head to the side a bit.

"I would offer to break you out, but... I don't think I'd get very far myself."

"What have you been up to?" She asked, jumping at the opportunity to change the subject.

"I think it was about five minutes after I left the quarantine, I was contacted by the Council to see them as soon as possible. They wanted to reinstate me into the Spectres and I accepted. The Hierarchy then contacted me after that saying that they would also like to reinstate me, and they even offered me a house on Palaven. I... Didn't know what to do with that one, but I'm on my way to at least talk with them."

"That's really great." She smiled, and was sad to think that he probably wouldn't be visiting her soon. "I haven't been able to get in touch with Garrus... How is he doing?"

"He's actually coming with me. If you want to, I can let you talk to him when he gets here in an hour."

"No, that's fine." She tried her best to hide the worry in her voice. "So you two are getting along now?"

"Reasonably." He shrugged, apparently not picking up, or not caring about how she was acting.

He continued talking for another ten minutes, while she was busy thinking of why Garrus would bother going back home. Wasn't he happier on the Citadel? Or was there something else calling him back like Saren? It wasn't sitting well with her at all, the way things were going. She realized he'd stopped talking for a while and she looked back down. He'd hung up on her. Scowling, she closed her omni-tool and turned to lay down on the bed until dinner.

She wasn't even allowed out to get her own dinner. It was brought to her. _On a tray._ She nearly glared at the man bringing it in until he slipped something under the tray when he set it down, walking out. Emma didn't want to bother looking at it until she'd eaten, knowing that might be part of the reason she was so angry at the moment. But the feeling didn't go away when her stomach began feeling full about an hour later. Sighing, she lifted it up and saw a piece of paper. In some of the most untidy writing she'd seen since middle school, Emma read the words 'I'm here to talk if you need it.' with a scrawled name underneath that she couldn't read. She assumed it was the man who'd walked in, but she couldn't be sure. Regardless, the note was tucked away in her bag, and Emma pulled out her omni-tool to play a few games.

* * *

_One Week Later_

"Anything new to report?" Saren asked over the call. Emma had called him again, feeling lonely, but better than before.

"Not really. I just wanted to talk to you." She smiled. "Do you know if you can come visit soon?"

"I don't think so, Emma. The Hierarchy is pretty set on taking me on a full tour and explaining every little detail before they'll let me leave." He paused for a minute. "I really want to see you, but this is something I need to do first."

"I understand." She let her eyes cast down to the metal desk, tracing patterns over it.

"I'll let you know first thing when I can visit you. I promise."

"Let's just hope it won't be too much longer." She tried to smile, only getting half of her mouth to do so.

He ended the call and Emma was alone again. Lucky for her, there was a different visitor scheduled today, but she didn't know who it was. She hoped it wasn't her mother, because she'd had enough of her for the next year. She laid on her bed to take a nap until then, but found herself laying on her side, staring out the window. She counted fifteen shuttles that left the port, and only five that had come in. There were some Alliance ships that had come in as well, the _Titan_ and the _Sierra_ specifically. She could close her eyes and know every twist and turn of those ships, from when she was with her mother stationed on those two ships. They were nothing compared to the Normandy, but they were definitely works of art. And then she heard the door open.

"Damn, you could use some sun." Joker smiled, hobbling in on crutches, sitting down in the chair on the desk, not bothering to ask.

"I'd love to, but I'm sure you're aware of their procedures. No leaving the room unless I'm needed elsewhere and accompanied by at minimum three armed soldiers.

"You aren't even a biotic."

"Yeah, but I am trained in martial arts, and hand-to-hand combat. Not to mention I'm the deadliest woman on Earth at the moment."

"I tried to get them to let you out at least in one of the courtyards outside. It's a really nice day out."

"Yeah." She turned to face the window again, and he followed her gaze.

"At least you've got a nice view..." He muttered. She could tell that he wasn't comfortable seeing her accepting this, and so lifeless as it was. But what could she really do? Yes, she was a Spectre; but she was also a marine, and had sworn to herself that those duties would come before those of being a Spectre. After a while she heard Jeff sigh.

"What?" She asked softly, almost motherly, which sent a shiver down her back.

"I can't stand to see you like this. Give me half an hour." He then stood up and walked out. She didn't know what he was thinking, trying to get her out of the room. But, she waited, and continued to stare out the window at the soft clouds that were drifting by at their slow, careless pace in the blue sky. In the distance she could see a few rain clouds that would be coming in from the coast by nighttime. She wished she could go out and feel it when it rained. Emma needed the feeling of being human again, to affiliate with the people she was being held captive by. Something in her felt like she couldn't even call herself human anymore. She never thought about "this is what humans do", she always thought about "this is what _I_ do" and she did it. Emma hadn't realized it until now, but she had incorporated something from just about every major species' culture into her own life somehow. Damn it, she was pining after a turian who was light years away from her and who had gone through everything she had! There was someone not of her own species that she could relate to; everything about what she had grown up learning told her it was wrong and she didn't give one fuck about any of it.

"Emma, come on." Joker walked in with a grin. She jumped up, pulling her boots on, and walked out with him. Her legs stretched out and it felt good to be out of the room. It was like she was experiencing life again. Of course, there were a couple of soldier following the two as they made way to the nearest courtyard, but they would be standing inside, watching. They sat on a bench in the sun, and Emma closed her eyes with a smile.

"This is so nice, thank you."

"I wouldn't have gotten you to smile otherwise."

They were both quiet for a minute, and then he spoke up again, quiet.

"How much longer do you think we have until this all goes to hell?"

"I'd say four months at most." Emma said confidently. She looked over at Jeff, who was confused.

"Why four?"

"They're letting me go in five." She smirked.


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to all of the readers and followers of this story! It really makes me happy to know that I'm creating a story that so many people are interested in. I can't believe how many of you have started following this story, and it's only grown since. I can't say thank you enough for all the support and the joy that it brings me. _

_This chapter is from Saren's perspective. It contains some interpreted material, as well as some of my own material that I feel would be accurate to his character._

* * *

He'd been to Palaven several times before. No, he hadn't grown up on Palaven, but he'd always been fond of it, taking time to visit when he could. Of course back then he'd always had someone to tour with, and have fun. This time, he did have a friend, but they had said their goodbyes once they'd stepped on solid ground. Saren didn't like how long the process of touring the facilities was taking. What he hadn't told Emma was that this was a part of his first assignment as a Spectre. Sparatus was becoming more aware of what he'd been warned of from the human Spectre, and as such had begun silently prodding the military to begin preparations. Saren was sent to help ensure it was going smoothly, though officially it was a formality to have Saren reintroduced to how things worked. Regardless of what the papers said, he was having trouble staying awake except when he would get calls from Emma once every few days.

She looked so tired, more so with every call. And the color in her face was beginning to fade. In his mind, he joked that she was turning into him. He was always careful not to say that out loud around her. And when she was talking, she never seemed to look at the screen. She was always looking out the window, or at the desk, but never at him. He hadn't seen her for the better part of a month and it hardly felt like she cared what he was doing. He thought maybe he was thinking too much about it, but after a short conversation with Garrus, he'd been told she'd acted the same way before she'd decided to move on. So Saren didn't know what to think.

Not feeling very tired that night, he chanced calling her for a change. Maybe she'd be more interested to talk if he called her instead. But there wasn't a reply. Leaving a message for her, rather emotionless in doing so, he put his omni-tool on the other side of the bed, and turned his back on it to sleep.

The next morning he woke up to find that he had a message from Emma waiting for him. He smiled when he opened it. She'd sent him a message, letting him know that she was sleeping in yesterday when he called and she was sorry. And then she also sent a short video which he began watching. She was outside, presumably on Earth, and she was sitting with Chakwas, trying to get her to say hello to Saren, which he found strangely amusing. She ended the video by leaning in close to the camera capturing it, and kissing it. He chuckled and hit the button to reply.

Sender: Saren  
Message: I appreciate the video you sent me. It's good to see you smiling and outside again. It looks like I'll be here another week, and then Garrus wanted to have a few drinks with me before I left again. If everything goes well I should be able to visit you in a couple weeks from now. And if they don't let me see you I'll break you out through the window.

He surprised himself with the message. He didn't think he would be that excited to see her again, but it was clear in the message that he'd already sent. Saren then put it aside to get ready for another long day of walking around halls and listening to things he could care less about. When someone came to get him, he grabbed his omni-tool, planning on doing what he'd been doing the past few days during the tours: play games. He was hardly concerned about looking professional anymore. He could do what he wanted, and if he didn't want to listen to military strategies, then he didn't have to. In fact he almost wished they would catch him playing games so they'd dismiss him. At least then he could get on with his plans faster. The group of four, himself included, walked down the same hall every day, greeted the same people, and he heard the same thing every day. He was only slightly surprised to see that they were interrupted for a moment while the general was handed a data pad. They continued walking as he read over it. Only a moment later it was handed off to Saren.

"You might want to look into this, Arterius." The general said as Saren pocketed his omni-tool, looking at what was before him. It was a report of one of the outermost colonies. It had gone dark just two days ago. No malfunctions were detected from here, but the only way to find out would be an investigation. The pit in his stomach told him everything he needed to know.

"I'll need to talk to you once we're done with the tour, sir." He said before they all got distracted. He then pulled his omni-tool back out and quickly sent a message to Garrus, inconspicuous if anyone else saw it: '_They've made the first move._'

* * *

_A few hours_ _later_

"Were you able to bring it?"

"No, but I did copy it while I was making the rounds." Saren sighed, pulling it up on his omni-tool, then passing it over to Garrus. They were sitting outside and it wasn't the most pleasant day with dark clouds rolling in from the lake nearby. He was waiting patiently for the other turian to read through everything, wondering how he was going to convince the military to do anything about this. Sure, he was a Spectre and could _do_ what he wanted, but he couldn't force an entire species to cooperate with him on intuition. Garrus was still making a push to do more himself. The most he'd gotten out of it was an official title, and a bump in his pay. Other than that, he wasn't doing much, yet.

"After everything they've heard from us, and Emma..." Garrus growled, handing back the tool. Saren nodded.

"I talked to the general, and he said he'd consider calling back more turians to help prepare. He said it was probably a solar flare disrupting communications, but this happened two days ago. We'd have communication back by now if that were the case." They were talking in hushed tones, not making eye contact. There was silence for a good amount of time before Saren did look over to Garrus.

"I should tell my family to get to the Citadel..." He muttered.

"They aren't just going to pack up their lives and leave, Garrus. Not without a real reason."

"I know that, but... Maybe they'd listen to me-"

"Honestly, warning them now won't change much for what's to come. They'll leave when everyone else realizes that if they don't they'll die. The most you can do is tell them to have some extra credits on them from now on, because the only way they might get off Palaven is through a bribe."

They glared at one another for a moment, before Garrus gave in. Saren was more experienced with crises, and he wasn't about to comfort anyone and say that it would all be okay. It was better to accept the reality before it happened. That was why no one liked Saren's tactics. He was cruel, yes, but what he did saved more lives and no one ever knew that. He calculated his moves before they were made. When Saren started running around giving hugs and kisses to everyone, he knew he'd be done as a Spectre. That would be his last day alive.

"Have you talked to Emma?" Garrus asked, sounding a bit worried.

"She's doing better. I guess they're letting her go outside now." He would have pulled up the video, but it didn't feel like the right thing to do right now.

"That's good. Are you still planning on going to see her when you're done here?"

"So long as nothing else gets in my way. I'll be leaving at the end of this week regardless of what the Hierarchy wants from me."

"I have a feeling you'll need a rain check on those drinks..." Garrus stood up, ready to leave. Saren stood up as well, with a nod.

"Be careful, in case we don't see each other for a while." It didn't feel awkward to embrace the other turian, though he couldn't say the same for the public who saw it. Saren didn't often hug anyone, but this was a special case. His friend could very well be dead before they would see each other again. They both walked away in their separate directions, Saren heading towards the port to see when the earliest shuttle closest to Earth would be leaving. The best he could do would be leaving midday and heading to the Citadel, and from there he could easily get another shuttle to one of the human colonies that would then have more than enough shuttles to Earth. It would be nearly a week before he'd be planet-side again. And looking at the colony he'd be visiting for a day made him almost forget the whole trip altogether. _Eden Prime_.

* * *

The shuttle that left Palaven was an hour ahead of schedule, and luckily Saren was there early to catch it. Others weren't so lucky, and so the shuttle was considerably empty. He'd purposefully neglected to tell Emma that he was on his way to see her, earlier than he'd planned. Part of him thought it was stupid to think that she would be happy to see him after not talking for several days. All of him wanted to see her, though. It had been half a year since she'd been detained to Vancouver, and he wished that she'd been able to stay just one more week on the Citadel. He could have at least given her a proper goodbye that way. But surprising her with a visit, as unlike him as it was, could be just what both of them needed. He'd played around with trying to use his status to really get her outside of the walls. But he decided she wouldn't like that. At least not for the first meeting in months. He'd already had a time set up for them to meet through the Alliance, and he made sure that no one else could show up and see her.

Reaching the Citadel about a day later, he'd made sure that the next shuttle wouldn't leave for several hours. He had a few things he needed to get before he'd be seeing Emma. He left to go run his errands quickly, somehow managing to check in on his apartment before running back and being half an hour early for the next shuttle. He'd stuffed a few of the things he'd gotten into his bag, not wanting to necessarily be seen with the items. It wasn't any surprise to Saren that the next shuttle was mostly humans. There was a group of three asari that placed themselves near Saren, for a reason he couldn't figure out. It wasn't the first time that he'd been in a situation where he was practically alone in a crowd; he'd adapted well to these situations, knowing it was best to just be quiet, and observe unless it was necessary to do otherwise.

This trip would take nearly three days until they would reach the colony. From the way it sounded, most of the people on this shuttle were from the colony, or they were heading to Earth as well. Saren slept for most of the first day, adjusting himself to the time on Earth before they would arrive. The second day was much harder for him to deal with. He was going back to a colony that he'd nearly ruined. He wondered if anyone would recognize him, or if he'd be kept in certain areas due to what he'd done. Luckily he found out he wouldn't be anywhere near where his first visit had been. But it was still too close for his liking. There would be a day layover until the next shuttle, which meant he'd have to find somewhere to sleep when they reached the port. One of the passengers from the colony was staring at him for most of the trip, sitting just across from Saren. Near the end of the second day, the man finally spoke up.

"You're the Spectre that destroyed half of the colony." There was a hint of a smile on the man's face. He had darker skin than Emma, and his eyes were a nasty green shade. "Come to destroy the rest of it?"

"Only if you don't wipe that look off your face. I'm only passing through for business." Saren growled, quickly shutting up the entire cabin, and getting man to shrink back, eyes wide. The asari only paused for a minute, then went about their chatter. They were used to turians growling whereas these humans had hardly ever seen one in person. That had been enough of a spectacle for the rest of the trip, and Saren went back to his reserved self, bracing for what he would see soon enough.

It was nighttime on Eden Prime when they arrived. Many families waited to greet loved ones all around Saren. He walked straight outside with no one to meet him, and he stared up at the sky. It was a lovely dark blue with the stars shining brighter than he'd ever seen on a planet. This was a routine for Saren, to look up at the stars. Although these stars in particular were different, they felt the same as he'd grown up with. A few minutes passed before he made his way to the nearest hotel, which looked fairly well kept for how little people were there. He didn't care much for the room, except for how soft the bed was. It was nearly uncomfortable how easily he sank into it. He smirked at himself. For being such a hard man, he seemed to be having a deep love affair with plenty of soft things.

_The next day_

Saren got out of the bed with time to spare before he'd be leaving. And it would only be a matter of hours before he'd be on Earth, then a matter of steps before he would see Emma in person. He double checked that what he'd gotten on the Citadel days before was still in tact before he checked out, and headed back to the port. He had three hours to spare, but looking out the windows was enough touring for him.

The colony itself was very strong, and beautiful from atop the hill the port sat on. There were plenty of farms, and several large buildings that he assumed were used to put the excess crops into containers to be shipped out. It didn't look to be terribly busy in the city below, but that might have been the hour of day being so early. He pulled out his omni-tool to send a message to Emma while he was waiting.

Sender: Saren  
Message: Have a busy day today?

Sender: Emma  
Message: Not really. Why?

Sender: Saren  
Message: I was thinking about calling you later. We haven't talked for a while.

Sender: Emma  
Message: That sounds really great. I'm looking forward to it.

He smiled a bit, and then closed his eyes to rest for the next couple of hours until the shuttle would be ready to leave. They were currently doing some minor repairs on it, and putting more fuel in. He could see it through the window, and could tell that if the repairs that needed to be made were any larger, these workers wouldn't have any clue what to do. Of course he would have offered to help, but there was no way of getting their attention. So, he took a nap, and woke up just as the repairs were being finished. Passengers were let on early, and Saren was able to get a seat by a window. He sent one final message before he'd be leaving for Earth, to someone who would be meeting him at the port.


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: This chapter is in Saren's perspective, as well as Emma's._

* * *

The shuttle coming in to the port in Vancouver gave a nice view of the metropolis before it landed. Having never been to Earth before, Saren was thoroughly impressed by everything. It looked so pristine compared to what he'd heard about high crime rates and poverty levels. But maybe that was away from the cities. He could ask later. Grabbing his bags, and being the last one off the shuttle, Saren gave a half smile to the man waiting for him at the port. He dropped one bag and held out his hand.

"I appreciate you coming to meet me." He said to Anderson.

"It's for Emma. She could really use seeing you." He replied, returning the handshake and nodding.

"This is... Impressive." Saren said as they started walking.

"You're lucky you got to land in Vancouver. Anywhere else you'd have to deal with xenophobes and beggars. You landed at the Alliance HQ, so know that you're being watched."

"I'm only a tourist while I'm here." He said, despite having packed a few weapons with him. He was given the briefest of a tour before they headed into the main building where Emma was. When Saren asked if she knew he was coming, Anderson shook his head. He was coming completely unannounced to her. He'd be staying in the guest housing, which was supposed to be similar to what Emma was given, though with a kitchen attached to the room. Saren only threw his bags in, thanking Anderson once more as he walked off to do his job. Saren had been told where to go, and when he arrived at the check-in counter, he was given a small badge that would get him past most doors.

"Would you like for me to inform Shepard?" The receptionist asked.

"No thank you." He said, walking off quickly, through the doors. She was in a room near the end of the hall before it turned. He pulled out his omni-tool and set it up to call her without the video. He waited just outside the door while it connected.

* * *

Emma was sitting in her room, looking out the window like always, waiting for Saren to call. He hadn't said when he would call, but she figured if he was still on Palaven, he'd be calling when she went to bed. Surprised by the noise of her omni-tool, she took it out and grinned when she saw the call, almost declining it in her happiness to accept.

"Saren, I didn't think you'd call so soon." She said, hardly containing her excitement, though her heart dropped when she saw it wasn't a video call, and that it had dropped. The door opened behind her and she spun around when she heard the voice

"I bet you didn't think you'd see me this soon, either." He smiled, barely getting enough time to brace himself before she nearly tackled him with a hug. She'd jumped up and wrapped her limbs around him upon habit from when she would greet her father. She couldn't even speak right now, hugging him as tight as she dared to. She felt his arms around her, practically holding her up. He took a few steps away from the door so it would close.

"What, no officers?" She said through a couple of tears, which she wiped away when he set her down.

"Not when there's a Spectre with a specific request." He smiled. She remembered that she hadn't cleaned up. She wasn't expecting anyone and so she quickly bunched up her already worn clothes, throwing them into her bag to hide them. Otherwise the room was presentable. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited. She wasn't sure if she should sit in the chair or next to him, so she sat in the chair for now. It had been a while since they'd talked.

"How long are you here?" She started off, fidgeting because she forgot how to sit with company.

"I'm here for a few weeks... Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm alright." Emma blushed and looked to the side, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. It was getting a little long.

"Why don't you come over here?" He asked fairly quiet. She nodded and then moved over to sit next to him, feeling better when his arm wrapped around her. She smiled and looked up at him, glad he'd come when she needed him most. She tried to say thank you but it wouldn't come out of her right now. She heard him purr when his face nuzzled into her hair, and she couldn't help but grin. Emma hadn't been sure why Saren showed up, but it was clear now that he missed her just as much as she missed him.

She propped herself up on his lap facing him, and her heart was pounding in her ears. Since there weren't any soldiers to watch over her, she could do what she wanted. Right now, Emma wanted to really let Saren know that she missed him. They both looked at each other for a moment, leaning in to each other for a gentle kiss. The second her eyes closed for the kiss, her heart calmed. She became aware of how quiet the room was without her humming to herself. She'd parted when he lifted her so they could lay down and be comfortable. He'd come to comfort her, clearly.

She laid with her face tucked into his neck, happily hugging Saren. She could feel his hand on her back, and was biting her lip at the surprising thought of it wandering. Her breath hitched when his other hand touched the very back of her neck, tracing along her jaw, guiding her mouth back to his in a way that was vaguely familiar. Within another minute she found herself on her back, arms around his neck and his knee between her legs, almost literally putting the pressure on. For a brief second she wondered how he knew what she liked. And then in the next second, she felt a shiver run through her body as his tongue brushed against the skin on her neck. She did her best to return this favor by running her fingers along the thick plates on his neck. Emma could feel the rumble deep in his chest, arching her back to bring herself closer to it.

The two knew that she wasn't wearing much of anything when he'd walked in. A thin tank top and rolled up sweats. She could feel the thinness of both against Saren. Getting tired of staying still, Emma bravely brought her leg up, hooking it around his hip comfortably. She jumped when his hand was at the back of her knee, his body dropping to pin her down and his other hand gently gripping her hair as he licked her neck once more. She let out a soft moan, all of her pressure points being hit just right. Her breath was coming shorter, and she was getting only slightly uncomfortable for the right reasons. All she could do was keep running her fingers over his neck plates, and hope that he wouldn't have to leave any time soon.

* * *

Saren had no clue what he was doing. But Emma seemed to be loving it. The way her fingers on his neck felt revealed how much time she'd spent with turians in her life. He felt like he was running into a gun fight with bare hands with her. She knew so much and he was just started to get a grasp on her. Never mind that most humans, apparently, had very differing tastes when it came to sex. Turians for the most part were the same. Although she did seem to enjoy his mouth on her neck, no thanks to Garrus, he assumed.

One of their omni-tools made a sound, but neither moved to see what it was. If anything, they pressed into each other more to ignore it. The outside world could wait a while longer. The hand on the back of her head untangled from her hair, trailed so lightly against her skin down to her waist. Emma had a very athletic figure, but it was nothing shy of feminine either. As his hand rested at her waist, the warmth of her skin felt through the fabric, he could also feel the taught muscles working to keep her still. Curious to see her reaction, he growled quietly in her ear, and was greeted with a groan, grip, and her hips lifting from the bed slightly.

Everything he did was an experiment. And he liked that reaction he received from her. Though he wasn't entirely sure if Emma was fully committed to anything right now, or if it was an involuntary reaction. Saren gently hooked a finger beneath her shirt, very aware of how she was reacting to him, now. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. She opened her eyes to look at him, giving him a smaller kiss, sighing softly.

"Emma..." His voice was rather deep when he spoke, and it was hardly intentional. Her eyes closed as she took in a breath, letting it out with a smile. He could feel her core relax, particularly when he shifted more to her side. Her leg unhooked from his hip, and she curled up on her side to face him better.

"It's been a while since I've felt this relaxed..." She said almost under her breath.

"You don't have much to do here." He noted, his arm pulling her closer again. He liked the little warmth she gave off, and she looked very cold.

"No, I don't. It's... Frustrating."

"Now you know how I felt for a while. Especially after you left."

"I would have stayed, you know."

"I do know." He nuzzled her forehead, purring softly to her. "And I hope that you don't have to stay here much longer."

"Pretty sure there's still a couple of months left." She muttered. He could tell she was starting to break from all of this. He remembered that she was often allowed outside now. Glancing out the window, he saw it was still nice out, and he sat up, taking her hand.

"Let's get you out in the sun for a little bit." He said, pulling her up some.

"Let me put on something different..." She pushed herself off the bed, leaving behind wrinkled sheets and a warm spot while he waited. He thought that she would have gone into the bathroom, but apparently she was comfortable enough to have her back turned to him. He didn't really look over to her, but he could see fading marks all along her back on her otherwise flawless skin. Saren could tell that he'd have to be careful with her in the future. He stood up when she pulled on a dark grey shirt, and pulled on her boots. As she led him out, she took his hand, somehow making it comfortable for both of them. He didn't know what her taking his hand meant, but it was nice. The rest of that day was spent outside, Saren asking about the city and a little bit about herself.

"Were you born on Earth?"

"I was born here in Vancouver. But I moved around to a lot of stations..." She paused and it caught his attention, "I really only remember Arcturus though."

"Is there a reason why?"

"There are several." She smiled, walking around in front of him while he sat on the bench. She'd taken off her boots to walk in the grass with her bare feet. She looked happy but there was something underlying that didn't sit well with Saren. He would have prodded Emma to keep talking, but he shook it off as she continued herself. "I had a lot of good memories, but probably just as many bad ones in less time."

"What was your best memory from there?" He asked, trying to keep her in a good mood. She'd turned to sit beside him, thinking as she walked over. Saren looked at her toes. They were so small, and similar to her fingers.

"Probably the day I met Walter." She said quietly, looking off at a tree. He could only assume that Walter was a friend, or possibly a boyfriend she'd had.

"How old were you?"

"I think I was 17 then." She grinned. "Long time ago."

"I was probably off on tour when I was 17." He chuckled. "I couldn't tell you where specifically, though."

"Oh, tell me what is was like growing up without the extranet!" Emma teased him, gently poking his side. He was easily ten years older than her, but it didn't feel like it was that much to him. He could only respond to her teasing by taking her tightly in his arms, and holding her still. She grinned up at him and gently pulled on his mandible.

"Hey-" He looked down at her, and she leaned up to kiss him. It was like before, very gentle and sweet, but it didn't last nearly as long. He nuzzled her cheek instead, and then started playing with the ends of her hair. It was down just past her shoulders by now, and he found that it looked much better on her.

"Were you going to say something?" She asked quietly.

"I was but I forgot. Though now I want to say how nice your hair looks longer." Saren was purring at her, and he smiled at the glint in her eyes from the sunset.

"Thank you..." She looked away, leaning into him though.

"Do you want to go back inside now?"

"Yeah." She put her boots back on, and the two walked back inside just as a human was coming with a tray of food for her. "I guess it's time for dinner." Emma grinned, saying thank you to the man who brought it. Saren only asked who he was when he left and they were inside. "Lieutenant James Vega. He's a pretty nice guy for someone that got stuck getting my meals for me. He's talked with me on the days that I didn't have any visitors to make sure I was okay. He didn't always talk with me, but he's nice."

"Do you think I would get along with him?" Saren smirked.

"Maybe. He likes sparring quite a bit from what he's told me." Emma had begun to eat the food that was given to her, and while she ate Saren went through his omni-tool. There were several messages that he disregarded before he'd gotten a call from Garrus.

"I forgot to mention that I told Garrus he could call me to talk to you." Saren mentioned before he'd accepted it. While Emma finished eating he caught up with the other turian, curious to know what was going on with the Hierarchy.

"They still aren't doing anything about that report. Another colony got hit just last night." Garrus sighed, forgetting the Emma didn't kow what they were talking about.

"What happened?" She said, popping into view. Saren took a minute to explain it to her, not liking the expression she made when she'd heard.

"It's nice to see you're still doing alright, Emma." Garrus said, changing the subject before she could get sour about it. Saren handed off his omni-tool to Emma, laying down on the bed to just close his eyes. She sat on the edge within arms reach of him. He was glad to see that she was enjoying talking to her old friend who had apparently lost her contact information and had never bothered asking for it. Saren knew it was really just the fact that he was so busy now. He dozed off for a bit, and when he woke up, Emma was gently nudging his foot, already changed out of her clothes.

"Hey... Are you going to stay here tonight?" She asked, sitting next to him after grabbing his omni-tool from the desk and handing it back.

"I really shouldn't..."

"You don't have to tonight. Maybe another night." She smiled. When he thought about it, she probably wanted to be alone tonight. There was always tomorrow. He got up enough for her to get into the bed, and stayed until she was asleep. It was very late for him, and he was glad that no one was paying attention to him as he left, dropping off the badge on the desk before heading to the room he was staying in. He'd looked in his bag and smiled at the few things he'd be bringing to Emma tomorrow. One was a pre-built model of the original Normandy, which she'd apparently lost, and the other was a copy of the music from Afterlife. He'd carried it with him originally to keep his mind off other things, but after seeing how little she had, he thought she could use it more. He would admit that it wasn't the same not having the crowd and thumping floor around when the music was playing, but it was still good to listen to.


End file.
